What a great day!

Yesterday was truly a great day. For a couple of weeks, my parents had been planning on speaking at a church in my hometown of Owasso about their journey through terminal cancer. 

I really wanted to attend, but just didn't see how it would be possible with the kids. Maggie is at a stage of severe separation anxiety, and makes herself sick from crying so hard if left in a strange nursery. The thought had crossed my mind that the only way I would be able to go is if someone could come to my parents' home and watch the kids while I went to Owasso. But I just didn't feel like I could ask anyone to do that on a Sunday morning.

I was so shocked and surprised and thankful to find my aunt's e-mail a couple of days ago offering to drive FROM DALLAS to come stay with the kids for the day so that I could: a) go to hear my parents speak, and b) have a break from motherhood during this season while I'm here without Lucas.

Her offer was yet another reminder to me of the supernatural way in which a loving Heavenly Father is caring for my every need during these difficult days. Thank you, Lord!

And what an incredible gift from my aunt! I was able to drive to Owasso with Russell, Tyler and Meagan; hear my parents speak at two services; visit with friends who attended the services; and then enjoy a nice lunch out before heading back to Siloam Springs late in the afternoon.

I guess I was in such a hurry to get out the door (FREE-DOM!) that I forgot to take a picture of my aunt and my cousin while they were here! But we had a really sweet visit on Saturday night, and they gave me such an awesome gift by keeping the kids all day on Sunday.

Thank you, Aunt Suzie. You were my hero this weekend!

What Maximus found in the Mail Today

Lunch Date with Sam, Kate and Kai

The great news: the kids and I had an absolutely fantastic time when we joined our friends Anna, Sam, Kate and Kai for lunch today. It was like water to my soul.

The bad news: I'm spoiled by my Nikon camera. All I had was my little iPhone camera for these snaps of our adorable little buddies. The leaves picture with Sam and Max is so cute, I'm wishing I had it in a higher resolution photo!

Thanks, Anna, for the awesome day. Loved every second of it.

Celebrating Easter

We had a glorious Easter celebration last weekend! Here are just a few pics, and I'll add some more of egg-hunting, etc. later:

Our Easter dinner:

Grandpapa teaches a lesson about the Resurrection. He showed the grandsons a picture of his dad, who is in Heaven now because of what Jesus accomplished through his death and resurrection. They were very interested in what Grandpapa had to say about all of this. 

Our little family on a cold Easter morning!

We were all SO happy to have Lucas here!

All Together for Easter!

We are so happy to all be together for Easter this weekend! Lucas and Max flew in late Thursday night. Lucas will fly back to Idaho on Monday, but Max will stay with me this time.

Brian, Lucas and Dad always have to get in some good Acquire action when Lucas is in town. Apparently Dad dominated all three games last night.

This is what the Dees family used to look like! 

It's crazy how much many people we've added in the past few years!

This was an unplanned surprise to have all four kids here with mom

and dad during the day on Thursday.

Four Generations

What an absolute joy to have a day with my mom, 

my grandma, my daughter and I all together!

Just A Little Maggie

It is FREEZING (literally) in Arkansas right now. WHERE IS SPRING?!? Today my mom had to go to the clinic to get IV fluids to help hydrate her. Kids aren't allowed in the chemo room, but Maggie and I went along anyway so we could enjoy the ride there and back with Mom and Dad.

While mom was getting her fluids, I took Maggie down the road to the mall where they have a nice little indoor playground. It was good for her to have a place to run, climb and play on such a cold day.

I am so thankful to report that Mom is feeling MUCH better tonight. She has been so sick the past couple of days that I just dumped tears all over her last night when I went in to hug her goodnight last night. Tonight she was up and around and laughing and visiting with me and dad and my grandma (what a fun surprise to get to see her today!). I had a huge grin on my face when I kissed her cheek goodnight tonight.  As she walked back to her bedroom, I called after her:

"You know, Mom, you don't have to feel good for me to be happy. But I sure am happy to see you feeling so good."

Egg Hunt with Grandmama and Grandpapa

Today Maggie and I had a sweet time going to the Sager Creek Community Church egg hunt with Grandmama and Grandpapa. What fun! 

I didn't fully appreciate how blessed we were to be able to do this 45-minute outing until later in the day when Mom started feeling pretty badly. Her nausea and sickness hit quickly this evening. I feel like I've been handed another reality check, and I am receiving the message loud and clear: enjoy and cherish every good moment.

Good Days

Today is our second day here in Arkansas with my parents, and I am so happy to be able to say that my mom is enjoying good days. She is tired and can't do too much before resting, but she is not in much pain and we are grasping every single sweet moment as the gift that it is. On Wednesday we were all fearing that mom might not have any more active days ahead, but we have been surprised with the sweetest of gifts: one good day at a time.

The outpouring of love and support and prayer to our family and to Lucas and me personally has been overwhelming. Thank you, everyone, for the calls, e-mails, facebook messages, blog comments and visits. We are really, really blessed to not be walking this path alone. I haven't been able to return all calls and e-mails yet because I am just trying to enjoy every moment with my mom, but I want you to know that you are greatly appreciated.

Lucas and Max will be coming to Arkansas soon, and we are eager for the entire family to be here together. We are hoping and praying that mom's energy and health hold up long enough for us all to enjoy  Easter weekend together. We're trying to think of some ways to make it extra special!

Through My 3-Year-Old's Eyes

My three-year-old Maximus has had a rough couple days. We haven't really talked with him in detail about what's going on with my mom yet, but children always intuitively know when something is amiss in the family. So he's been pretty high-need for the past 48 hours.

When we told him Maggie and I were going to leave for a few days, he did not take it well. 

All of this reached a climax today at the airport when Maggie and I were attempting to check in and get our boarding passes. Max practically dragged Maggie out of the stroller and tried to climb in it himself. He thought that if he was in the stroller he would get to stay with me.

As we were saying our goodbyes, Max was uncharacteristically clinging with all his might to my legs. I looked down at him to see a look of almost desperation in this eyes. He pleaded with me, "Mommy, don't leave! PLEASE don't leave!"

It broke my heart. 

Then I saw myself in my 3-year-old. And I knew exactly how he felt. My entire life right now is summed up in that simple pleading:  "Mommy, don't leave!"

Lucas was the one who pointed out the parallel to me, and I couldn't stop thinking about it on my two flights. I replayed all the ways I tried to comfort Maximus today:

Don't worry! We will be together soon!

I am so sorry, Max. I really wish I didn't have to go without you.

Everything will be fine. You're going to have so much fun with Daddy and Gramma Cheryl while I'm away!

Nothing consoled him. All of those things were good and true; but in the end, he just wanted to be with his mom. He couldn't see past the present moment. I can really identify with that right now.

So, I told him that Daddy would take him to the store and buy him a new Lego kit, and he could show it to me when they get to Arkansas next week. He perked up for the first time all day.

If only all of life's heartaches could be patched so easily.

A Hard Day

Today has been a difficult day. My dad called this morning to tell me that mom's scans came back showing rapid progression of her cancer. Her oncologist says she has somewhere between 2 weeks and 3 months to live.

We all knew this day was coming, but it is still a blow to face the imminent reality of it, especially after just being with her 4 days ago in California for a wonderful week together with her feeling relatively good.

All day today I kept thinking Maybe this is all a joke. April Fools! I wanted someone to walk up to me and tell me this is not real. That my mom is going to be fine and will be rocking her great grandbabies when she's old and wrinkled and her hair has grown back long and white.

But it is real. And tonight I'm unpacking my bag from California and packing a new one to take to Arkansas. I'll leave first thing in the morning and take Maggie with me. Maximus will stay with Lucas until they come out together next week.

If you'd like more details about what mom's doctor had to say today, you can read about it here from my dad.

We are HOME!

After a crazy and fun trip to California with my family over the past 10 days, WE ARE HOME! More than 2,000 car miles, 5 sets of mouse ears and approximately 243,000 goldfish snacks later, we are back home! 

We had a fantastic week (albeit with a few kinks in the road that always seem to come with traveling this far and long with toddlers!), and we were able to see SO MANY great family and friends. We've got lots of pictures to share, but if you want a sneak peak at our trip, you can check out my parents' blog here. My dad is such an awesome blogger that he kept up with blogging the trip while we were on the road.

Spring is on the way!

On Friday, we had a great day with our friends Brooke and Ruthanne. We played together, walked up to campus (Brooke's husband Ben teaches with Lucas at NNU), visited Lucas' classes, and then stopped by to feed the ducks on the way home. What a fun day!

Max with the Ducks. Isn't he cute in his little Letter Jacket from his Abuelita?

Hugs.

Sweet little Ruthanne in the most adorable baby cap ever.

Brooke and Maggie checking out the ducks.

Hanging with Daddy for a little while at work.

Conversations with Maximus

[Maximus launched into this conversation today when he put a Lego in the china cabinet.]

Maximus: I will just put this Lego in here to keep it safe from Maggie. Hey, Mom, when you put these dishes in here, you do it very soft, so they don't break.

Me: That's true. Who taught you that?

Maximus: Gramma Cheryl.

Me: Gramma Cheryl is smart. She can teach you lots of good information like that. Did you know that Gramma is really, really good at art?

Maximus: [gasp!] Is she good at Legos, too?

Me: Yes (thinking to myself: yes, after raising six boys, I'm confident she is quite adept at Legos!)

Maximus: Is Gramma Cheryl good at building big blocks?

Me: Yep.

Maximus: Is she good at Star Wars games?

Me: Yep.

Maximus: Is she good at playing space ships, like Axioms?

Me: Yep.

Maximus: Is she good at playing soldiers? And Clone Troopers?

Me: Yep.

Maximus: Is she good at computer games?

Me: Well, she's not quite as good at computer games as your daddy, but definitely better than your mommy.

Maximus: Hmmmm.

[Maximus was quite excited to learn that his Gramma Cheryl is quite skilled at all the most important and essential life-tasks for a 3-year-old boy!]

Coyote County Loser Premiere

Wow- I didn't realize how far behind I am on this blog until I saw that I hadn't even posted any pics from the big Coyote County Loser movie premiere in Southern California a couple weeks ago!

For those of you who don't know, Lucas' twin brother Jacob has been producing an independent full length feature film for the last year. Lucas helped write the screenplay, and has been involved in other various ways throughout the process as well. This has been such a huge and ambitious endeavor for Jacob and his wife, Laura, and we are so proud of all they have accomplished!

So a couple weeks ago, Lucas was able to fly down to California for the official premiere. From all the details I heard about the night, it was smashing success. The next step in the process is to sell the film, and we are all praying for a big success in this area, too. Jacob and Laura have worked so hard, and they certainly deserve any and all success that comes their way! In the meantime, here are a few pics that Lucas took at the World Premiere of Coyote County Loser:

Jake and Laura on the Red Carpet!

          Jacob and Lucas with some of the cast and crew.

Three guys who have worked really, really hard to make this movie a reality!

(Jacob, Brian, and Lucas)

The Coyote County Loser cast signing movie posters at the premiere.

Jacob signing movie posters.

Jacob with his grandma and two aunts who were able to come

to the premiere. How special!

     Jacob and Lucas' mom flew down from Oregon

     to be there for the premiere. They were so glad

                             she got to come!

        Jacob and his dad.

The lovely Laura and her dad.

Dad and Mari help out behind the scenes.

Poor, Neglected Blog

Yes, this is a poor, neglected blog this week. So sorry, everyone! Laura called tonight and said something like, "Yeah, yeah.... The Frugal Muse is great and everything... but what about pictures of my niece and nephew?" Okay, Laura. I'll take the hint and get something new up here for everyone.

 [I just love my sister-in-law. Tonight we decided that 5 years of living apart is enough. We are finished with it. We didn't really get into specifics– you know, like where we would move and how we would find jobs, and whether our husbands thought it was a good idea and those types of minor, petty details. But we did decide firmly that we will no longer be living 1,000 miles apart. We'll keep you posted on how our plans shape up. :-) ]

ANYWAY... a couple of days ago, I was working in the kitchen when Max suddenly climbed up and stood up on a dining room chair, spread his arms high and wide and declared in a slow and decisive voice, 

"I – AM – GOD!" 

My back had been to him, and when I whipped around with a stern look on my face, preparing to correct his error, he had already humbled his body posture and sheepishly and quickly began to say, "Uh, I am not God. Mommy, I am not God." To which I had to smile and say, "That's right, you are not God. You are a human."

"Yes, Mommy. I am not God. I am a human."

And he went back to playing Legos, and has refrained from declaring himself deity since. :-)

The cutest thing I heard today

"Is God the green bean?"

- Max, after watching Jonah: A Veggie Tales Movie

Introducing: The Frugal Muse

Hey, everyone. Let me invite you to my new corner of the blogosphere: The Frugal Muse. 

Many of you know that over the course of the past year, I have become a pretty hard-core coupon user and bargain shopper. I've decided that I can no longer in good conscience keep all of these great deals to myself. I must share the love.

If you're like our family and looking to stretch your dollars a bit further, come check out the new blog. Hope you enjoy!

Happy Birthday, Pops!

Hungry Enough to Eat.... *Updated*

Maggie must be going through a growth spurt. She cannot get enough to eat today. This morning, directly after eating two whole pieces of bread for a little pre-lunch snack, she was still hungry enough to open a bottle of sunscreen that she found in the diaper bag and start eating it. Gross. And scary. Poison Control reports that it's probably okay as long as she doesn't start throwing up in the next couple hours. 

My guess is that she's not about the throw up, because she's continually yelling "SNnnnn-AAaaaa-Ccckkkkk!" and asking for food. She must be about to grow a few inches. 

***********************

*Update* All is well; apparently Maggie has not been poisoned by the sunscreen.

I did think this was worth noting: two weeks ago at her well child check-up, Maggie's pediatrician specifically warned me that she thought Maggie was particularly vulnerable to getting into something poisonous. I'm not sure if the dr. ran a personality profile on Maggie or what, but she pegged it. The dr. even gave me the number to Poison Control, underlined on the follow-up sheet from the appointment, which is what I used to find the Poison Control phone number today to make the call.

This makes me think two things: 1) Maggie's pediatrician is really, really good. and 2) I obviously wasn't paying close enough attention to Maggie or her doctor.