Conversations with Max and Maggie

Maggie: Mom, I have two plans for if a bad guy ever comes into our house. First, if he has a gun or a sword, we will take the gun or sword away from him and cut him or shoot him. Second, we will take some milk out of the refrigerator for 15 minutes, and once it is bad we will pour it in his mouth.

Max: Ummmm, Maggie, I don't think the #2 plan will work. Actually, I don't think the #1 plan will work either. Neither plan will work. How could you take a sword or a gun from the robber before he hurts you with it? Besides, robbers don't use swords.

Maggie: Well, you could make him say 'Surrender'!

Max: No, those plans won't work.

Life with Alexander

In some time warp that I don't completely understand, seven weeks have passed since Alexander's birth. The days and weeks just keep flying by as we've started Max in Kindergarten, celebrated Max and Maggie's birthdays, enjoyed a good visit from Lucas' Dad and Maria, and (Xander and I) flew to New Mexico for a few days to see Laura and welcome new baby Penelope! His first few weeks of life have happened in a blink!

Before Alexander was born, a couple of different friends told me that you're simply on the go more with #3, and I've definitely found that to be true. God has again graciously given me exactly what I needed, a very mellow-personalitied baby #3. Alexander has definitely been a trooper as we've toted him all over creation during his first few weeks of life!

Since we returned from New Mexico this week, I am feeling like we can finally settle into "normal" life as a family of five. Interestingly enough, "normal" newborn life with Alexander has turned out to be quite a bit different than the newborn phase was with Max and Maggie. I am finding that one never quite gets past the learning curve in parenting!

Alexander is definitely his own person. He apparently doesn't want to fall in line and do everything just like his older siblings did! After giving us a bit of a weight-loss scare during his second week of life (he dropped from a birth weight of 8 lb. 4 oz. down to 6 lb. 15 oz.), we discovered that he had such a weak suck that he was practically getting no nutrients from breastfeeding. I worked really hard to try to get him to nurse better, but in the end we had to switch to bottle feeding him pumped breast milk plus formula to supplement. I'm still nursing him a little, but he is now primarily a bottled-fed baby. It's been really tough for me to let go of breastfeeding– It's something I value, and having never had any problems with it for Max or Maggie, I wasn't prepared for the possibility of not be able to do it with Alexander.

Lucas has been really good to encourage me throughout this process– the highest value here is that Alexander is able to get what he needs, which is apparently going to look a little different for him than the other two. My dad also reminded me to be thankful: a couple hundred years ago, before breast pumps, or formula or even bottles were widely available, our son probably would have died or been a very, very sickly child. I am so grateful that I am able to pump to get him the benefits of breast milk, and I am really grateful that good formulas are available to supplement for the rest. He is healthy and thriving, and that's the most important thing.

But since feeding a newborn is such a big part of their care, and feeding Alexander has been so different than my first two, I feel like a new mom all over again! I've had to ask a lot of questions and do a lot of learning about bottle feeding, pumping and supplementing. I've found that for me, bottle-feeding seems like a bigger hassle and takes more time over-all than breastfeeding, but that it is nice that he is not completely dependent on my body for eating. I'm enjoying the upsides, including that Lucas and others can help occasionally, and it's a lot easier for feeding on-the-go and when we are out and about.

I'm excited to see more and more of Alexander's personality surfacing. He is just starting to give his first smiles! Everything about him seems to indicate that he's going to be a "Steady-Eddie" type of guy– He's pretty chilled out much of the time. Time will tell, and I can't wait to see just who God made this little guy to be!

First Day of School

Today's the day! Maximus started kindergarten this morning at Northside Elementary. He told me last night at bedtime that the only thing he was nervous about was sleeping too late and missing the first day of school. He was so excited that he was out of bed and dressed for the day at the crack of dawn this morning!

We let him choose who he wanted to take him to school this morning, and of course he chose his Dad. No surprise there. :-) Lucas dropped him off at his classroom and Max started the day without a glance back. I'm sure it helped greatly that he has a great teacher (Mrs. Fox) and several of his best little buddies in his class this year. We are so thankful and are praying that he has a wonderful year.

I can't wait to pick him up this afternoon and hear how his day went!

Alexander's Birth

**Disclaimer: This post contains details about Alexander's birth. I'm posting both for my own journaling purposes and because I know a lot of you gals out there enjoy some of these not-too-graphic details.... but feel free to skip this post if you're not into birth stories!

Alexander's due date was August 1, but a couple weeks before his birth my doctor started talking about the possibility of a planned induction and gave us the option to move ahead with that once we got a little closer to his due date. Since the doctor said I was progressing and everything looked favorable for the induction, we decided to proceed with that plan. I'm so glad we did!

This was our best birth experience yet, and that combined with all of the help and rest Aunt Carol had given me in the week leading up to the birth made for a very smooth delivery day and adjustment to life back at home with three. What a gift from God to me during a tough milestone without my mom here- I've been so thankful.

On Wednesday, the day before Alexander's birth, Lucas' mom drove in from her new home in Missouri, less than two hours away from us. What a change in distance from her and Tony's previous home in Oregon! I am thankful to have them so much closer. She arrived in the afternoon just in time to watch the kids while I went to my final doctor's appointment. Aunt Carol came with me, and I was able to get some final questions answered before moving forward with the induction, which we had scheduled for early the next morning. My sis-in-law Meagan treated me to a manicure after the appointment- what a great gift; it was such a relaxing thing to do on the evening before Alexander's birth!

We had decided to deliver at the hospital in Siloam Springs, and we were supposed to check in at 5 a.m. for the induction. We left the kids in great hands with Gramma Cheryl, and amazingly enough for Lucas and I, who neither one do well with early mornings, we were walking out the door at 4:55 a.m., ready for the big day:

Leaving for the hospital: 4:55 a.m.

We arrived at the hospital right at 5:00 a.m., and Aunt Carol met us there. We sat down at the check-in desk, and I was feeling a little bit jittery and nervous and excited.... and mostly just ready to have this next part over with and have our son in my arms.

A very kind woman at the desk wanted to quickly verify the information we had on file with the hospital. Name, Address, phone number, Emergency contact... "Still Kerwin and Vicki Dees, grandparents?" Gulp. Lucas jumped in and corrected the information, and I took a deep breath as the L & D nurse came and got us and took us to our room.

When we got to our room and settled in about 5:30 a.m., Lucas decided to text my dad and let him know we were at the hospital and getting started. Less than two seconds later, my dad texted back: "I'll be right there." My sweet dad came at the crack of dawn and wanted to be up there all day, even though this is an extremely busy week for him at work.

Aunt Carol was by my side all day and went to work immediately, asking the nurses to find and send the nurse who was very best nurse at IV insertion, and holding on tight to me as the anesthesiologist got my epidural in after three very uncomfortable attempts. I was so relieved to have those two parts of the day over with!

After that, the morning went by pretty uneventfully. The doctor came in and checked me– I started out the morning at 2 cm dilated– and then he broke my water. I was having some regular contractions, but not enough to get things really moving, so they started me on pitocin. We kept the room pretty quiet and dark all morning, and I was able to relax and sleep a little, and Lucas and I also made a final decision about what our son's middle name would be. The nurse checked me again at 11:30 and said I was at a 4 and the baby was still basically as high as he could be at a -3 station. I settled in and figured that it might be a long day of waiting, but I was comfortable and not having any pain.

About an hour later, the contraction pain started to ramp up just a little, and Aunt Carol came and sat by me and helped me relax through them. She was asking me all about our trip to Cancun in May and had me describe the most serene parts of our trip.

I had been nervous about my epidural wearing off, because my legs weren't really not numb at all, and I thought "there's no way this epidural is going to get me through transition,"especially since they had just checked me and I was only at a 4! The nurse told me they needed to refill the medication in the epidural line, so I thought I was feeling the contractions more because they were changing out the meds. After she took care of that, the nurse decided to check me again when she saw I was really having to breathe through the contractions. I was shocked when she told me at just before 1 p.m. that I was fully dilated to a 10!

She said if I could hold off on pushing for a little while that it might make the delivery go more smoothly, so I decided to try to do that. My dear friend Anna had just come by to check on me, and she came and sat with me for a few minutes until the nurse came in and said it was showtime! I started pushing at about 1:15ish, and Alexander was born at 1:28. I really couldn't have asked for a more smooth labor and delivery!

Lucas and I both said out loud as soon as he was born- "Wow- he's big!"

At 8lbs., 4 oz., He looked so much bigger than Max and Maggie had when they were born

(Max weighed 6 lbs. 15 oz, Maggie was 6 lbs. 12 oz.).

I had plenty of tears of joy as I met him for the first time.

Very soon after he was born, we were able to introduce Alexander to his big brother and sister, who were SO EXCITED to meet him. Maggie had this amazed smile on her face and was completely speechless for at least 30 seconds- perhaps a new record for her. :-) She quickly snapped out of her state of wonder and exclaimed, "Give me my baby!" Max was practically glowing with pride.

We were so thankful to have a lot of family there to welcome Alexander on his first day in the world. Gramma Cheryl, my dad, Aunt Carol, Uncle Russ, Aunt Meagan, Uncle Tyler, my cousin Brandon and several great friends were there in the hours after his birth to meet him. I was thankful to be feeling very well in the afternoon after an easy delivery, and I really enjoyed celebrating with everyone!

Meagan made this adorable sign to hang on our hospital room door!

We stayed one night in the hospital, and we were able to take Alexander home on Friday after lunch when he was exactly 24 hours old.

First car ride: 1.3 miles from the hospital to home.

Thank you, Lord, for bringing Alexander James into the world safe and healthy. We are so grateful for our new son and can't wait to see what God has in store for him!

Welcome, Alexander!

Alexander James Roebuck

July 28, 2011 • 1:28 p.m.

8 lbs. 4 oz. • 20.25 inches

On Receiving Help

I'm less than one week out from my due date, and it looks like this little guy is going to arrive in the next few days. We are all excited and eager to meet him!

My mom's sister, Carol, has been here all week helping me prepare in body and soul for this baby's birth. She has given so much to me– she's been taking the kids on outings every day (which they are loving, of course!) so that I can sneak a nap in here and there; going to the doctor with me; and offering a hug and a teardrop or two that we both understand at just the right moments. Her arrival has given new meaning to the term "Godsend" for me.

Since Aunt Carol's been here, I've been thinking a lot about what my mom taught me about receiving help. She taught me, especially in her last three years of life, that simply and gratefully receiving and accepting help when we need it is a posture of humility and grace. It's a posture that recognizes that we are weak, that we can't do it on our own. It's a posture that understands that God has sent help not only because He loves me, but because He loves the giver.

My pride bucks against this idea, of course. I want to prove that I'm capable and strong and independent– which is actually laughable to anyone who's around me for more than about 30 seconds! When I'm able to simply and humbly accept help– without trying to downplay or repay the gift– the Gospel is at work in my life. I want to live in that place more.

The Lord knows that I've been at a pretty needy place the last few weeks. And the truth is, I didn't even know how badly I would need my Aunt here until she arrived. The Lord knew. And I'm truly grateful to the point of being overwhelmed. Out of love for me and for Carol, He sent her at just the right time. I'm actually feeling rested in body and soul for the first time in months. I actually feel like I can do this now!

Thank you for all of you who have been praying for me in the last few weeks. I know you have been. I've been receiving your help, too. Thank you, thank you, my dear friends.

Happy news is on the horizon! Can't wait to introduce you all to the new little man.

Happy Birthday, Grandpa Chaney!

Here's a little birthday message for one of our favorite Grandpas.... these video clips also happen to offer some insight into the personalities of these two little Roebucks, hence the inclusion of the outtake. :-)

A message for Grandpa Chaney, Take 1:

A message for Grandpa Chaney, Take 2:

We love you, Dad/ Grandpa Chaney. Wish we could be with you on your special day!

School Supplies!

I have a big master "To Do" list going of all the things to keep me productive and on track until this baby makes his grand entrance. One of the items on the list: Get Max's school supplies. I couldn't believe it when I pulled out the calendar today because Max wanted to know how many days until school starts. Three Weeks and Three Days until Kindergarten Open House!!! Wow- and I know it is going to be a whirlwind between now and then with the baby's arrival.

So off to Walmart we went with school supply list in hand. Max was so excited, and so was I. I always loved school supply time when I was a kid- and it was so fun to see Max enjoy it as well. He wanted to sit in the cart to organize the items as we picked them out. He told me, "I've got them all organized, because it's important to be organized when you're in school." :-)

Kindergarten, here we come!

Remembering

Today we were opening up a package of sight word magnets to work on, and I mentioned that Grandmama Vicki had bought these for us. Max asked why she got them for us, and I said it was because she loved to see her grandkids learning to read and write. I told them that before she had cancer, she was a kindergarten teacher at the same school Max will be going to in a few weeks.

A huge smile came across his face and he giggled. "I wish I could be in that class," he said through his giggle.

And it just made me so happy and sad all at once. Happy because he remembers. Happy because he knows how much she loved him and how much she loved to teach him. Sad because we won't be able to share this huge kindergarten milestone with her, and she would have loved it. Sad because it's only been four months, and so many years stretch out ahead where we'll be missing her.

Mom never really felt like being a teacher was her calling in life. But she sure was good at it.

"But Mom, My Animals *Really* Needed a Bath"

Bitter–Sweet

It's been a hard few weeks. I'm waging a mental battle between gratitude and sadness. I know I have so much to be grateful for, and I believe that should be enough to keep me from being so sad. And yet, I'm sad.

Nowhere is this tension more poignant than in the preparations to welcome our sweet baby boy into our home. Of course I'm so thankful that God has blessed us with this little life, I'm excited to meet him, and I am so grateful that he appears to be healthy and growing. But as his due date approaches (just about 6 weeks away), I'm finding myself having such a different response than I have in my other pregnancies. It's hard to explain, but instead of the eagerness I felt at this point with my other two, I'm facing a slight sense of uncertainty, even dread– if I'm willing to admit it.

I don't want to do this without my mom.

It's not that I'm afraid or dreading making the transition to three kids without my mom's physical and emotional help, although she was such a tremendous help when my other two babies were born. I just don't want to cross this line. I don't want enter a new phase of life that she will never have touched. And yet this little one is coming and life is moving on. It's a newborn baby, for Pete's sake! Pure sweetness. But tinged with bitter these days.

Last week I washed all his tiny clothes, set up his dresser and put together his crib. But I couldn't quite figure out how to finish the assembly on the crib, and then burst into tears realizing that my mom had assembled this crib before both Max and Maggie were born. My poor husband came home from work to find me sitting at the computer sobbing as I tried to see through my tears to google the make and model of the crib to find assembly instructions. Not a good moment.

But I will do this. God has so graciously heaped blessing upon blessing upon blessing on me during the last three months, and this child is certainly the greatest of those blessings. I am certain that the timing of his life and his arrival's intersection with my own grief is not arbitrary, but orchestrated by a gracious God Who loves me and Who loves him.

We are just about ready to welcome the new little buddy. He's coming into a family with a whole lot of grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins and love. So even if his mommy is a tad bit sad underneath the celebration, I think he'll be okay. I suppose that sadness is born of love, too.

What Maggie Thinks About A Lot These Days

Maggie: "This is Aunt Laura with her baby in her womb, and Uncle Jake when he was a little boy."

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I thought this was hilarious and so true!

I'm thinking back to every computer problem Lucas has ever solved for me (there have been a few!), and I now realize that he followed this exact flow chart every time. Genius! :-)

http://xkcd.com/627/

Conversations with Max and Maggie

Me: Maggie, I really loved how you and Anna and Mikaiah all three played together so nicely today so that no one was left out.

Max: What's 'left out?'

Me: It means when some kids are playing together and they don't include all the kids in whatever they're doing. It can be especially tricky when there are three friends because two friends might play together and leave the other friend out. Next year when you're in school, I bet you'll get a lot of practice showing kindness by including all the kids– by helping make sure nobody gets left out.

Max: Or, I could just go play with the kid who's alone and being left out.

Lucas: That would be a very honorable thing to do. That would make me proud.

Maggie: (quickly interrupting, as if she's looking for some hypothetically honorable action she could contribute...) Well, if I'm in school and I see girls being silly, I'll just DO A BOOTY DANCE!!!

Oh, my.

Conversations with Maximus

On our way to the restroom in Sam's Club, Max spots a poster on the wall of their offices titled "Entrepreneur's Creed" with a picture of Sam Walton's face under the title.

Max: Look- There's Sam Walton.

Me: Max, how did you know that was Sam Walton?

Max: I just checked my brain.

Her Grandmama's Girl

Maggie spotted these 5-inch beauties in TJMaxx and just had to try them on. She looked up and said, "OOoooooh, Look, Mommy! These shoes totally fit me!"

She definitely did not get this shoe fetish from me. I'm pinning this one on Grandmama Vicki. :-)

Conversations with Maximus

Max: I love this Batman shirt. I just LOVE Batman! What does 'love' mean, anyway?

Me: Well... it means you care deeply about something or someone. It's more than really, really liking something.

Max: (thinking for a moment) Huh. I really like Batman. But I love, LOVE God!

After a Week with Paul T. Semones

Max and Lucas just returned from a week-long road trip adventure to visit the Kennedy Space Center with our good friend Paul. I need get to some photos of their trip up here, but in the mean time, here are some of the things Max is saying since his return from studying all things NASA. Basically, he likes to use the word "engineer" as many times as possible in any given sentence:

Max: Mommy, come look at the tall castle I built. At first I didn't have it properly engineered. I didn't have it built right on the bottom to make it work on the top. But then I engineered it and added these parts at the bottom so that it would work.

Getaway ideas

Lucas and I are hoping to take a trip together before baby #3 arrives. Does anybody out there have recommendations for an affordable, relaxing destination? I would love a beach, but our budget is pretty tight and so we'll need to drive there from NWA. I'm willing to get creative, though. So if anybody knows of any scientific studies in teleportation that would to take us from Arkansas to, say, the Canary Islands, Spain or Goa, India or Anguilla for a week... I think we'd consider giving it a shot. :-)

Seriously, though... any good ideas for getaways out there, friends?