Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Modern Marriage: Death By Romantic Comedy

Why should we be surprised that more marriages fail than succeed, when the most pervasive and persuasive textbook for love and romance in our culture is the mainstream film genre of romantic comedies? The lies are staggering.

I just watched a mainstream romantic comedy that left me feeling physically ill. The underlying lies of the film pile up with every new character the audience meets: Marriage is a wretched endeavor that will certainly squelch any ounce of fun and romance out of your life. The only reason a man ever marries a woman is because she manipulates him or forces him to do so. Marriage is hard, so it must not be the best way. The way to true love and happiness is to cast tradition aside, follow your heart and do what feels right.

Is marriage hard? You bet. The hardest thing I’ve ever done. The only thing I’ve ever done that is worth failing at on a daily basis, and worth getting up the next day and trying again. Marriage is teaching me what it means to truly love and be loved; what it means to give grace and desperately need grace.

I am married to a real man, a man’s man, who pursued me with a vigor that I still don’t understand, who could hardly wait 11 weeks to marry me, who committed to love me until his dying breath, who loves me too much to sit passively beside and let me become the worst version of myself, who is strong enough to lead with patience and humility, and who reminds me every day that his decision to love me cannot be undone.

Six years ago this week, Lucas set his love on me. For life. And nothing could be more romantic than that.

I’m sick of Hollywood telling me that true love is a fluttery feeling and marriage is worthless. Tonight, I’m going to kiss my husband like I mean it, and thank him for being my own personal textbook on true love in real life.

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.


Jamey, Jack, and Norah said...

I think I saw the same movie this past February in the theater. At least I felt the same way after leaving the movie we saw!

Hope you're doing well. I know we don't really know each other, but I think of you and your family often and do my best to keep you in my prayers.


Mom Keena said...

Hip, hip, hooray! Hooray for marriage, and all of it's hard work and blessed reward! I will never forget the earnest pursuit of Lucas on the one he knew was a precious ruby! And you are!

Jonathan's Mom said...

HAPPY anniversary!!! And hooray for marriage, God's gift to us...

We love you guys!

Alison said...

Happy anniversary! It is awesome to hear about your love for each other, especially in a week when divorce has been broadcast everywhere with the TLC show. Yeah for lasting, loving marriage!

Five Freddys said...

Oh so true! So many couples get married brainwashed with the preconceived notions of Hollywood and when they're expectations are smashed with reality they give up and throw away their covenant. I want to see this post as an article in some mainstream magazine. I've seen three couples I'm close to fall prey to this very thing this summer and it breaks my heart.

Happy Anniversary to you both. So grateful for your strong testimony to TRUE LOVE!