Dear Target: Do you sell anything that sucks?

Today we finally caved and bought a new vacuum– only after Lucas and I both tried to unjam the carpet fibers stuck in the tube of the old Dirt Devil vacuum and ended up piercing a hole in the tube with a wire hanger. At that moment, we both looked at each other while thinking the same thing:Why in the world do we go through this every time we try to vacuum? Here's a novel idea... let's get a vacuum that actually performs the function for which it was intended. [Gasp!] Brilliant!!

And so we loaded up the kids and headed to Target, which (thankfully) has a good chunk of their vacuums on sale this week. I was only tempted momentarily by the bottom-of-the-line-just-like-our-old-vacuum Dirt Devil marked down on clearance to $39.99. There's a reason that piece of junk is less than $40. We moved on down the line and picked out one that looked like it would last more than 6 months and would keep our newly crawling Maggie from consuming more dirt from the floor than food from the table. 

Back at home, Lucas put on his handy man hat (the most dusty of all his hats) and assembled the vacuum. And oh, how it sucks. I felt a strange mixture of simultaneous disgust and satisfaction as I saw the collection tube fill up with all the nasty dirt and carpet fiber sludge that has been making its home in my carpet. 

This is when you know you have truly entered adulthood and there is no turning back: Not when you say your wedding vows, birth a child, or purchase an "It's-not-a-minivan-it's-a-crossover" vehicle. No, true adulthood has arrived only when you've spent more on a vacuum than on all your own personal wardrobe, makeup and hygiene for the past two years. And here's the kicker: And you're really excited about it.