The Roebuck Remote

Conversations with Max: My Little Theologian

2012-02-08T06:37:00.001-07:00

This morning at breakfast

Max: Mom, I've been thinking about something
Me: Oh, yeah? Whatcha been thinking about?
Max: I've been thinking about this: That we could not have been God.
Me: That's true. Why do you think we could not have been God?
Max: Because we were made.

Pretty good thinking there, little man.

2011: A Big Year in Review

2011-12-30T22:17:00.002-07:00

2011. It's a year that I'm positive I will look back on for the rest of my life and remember as a pivotal year in my life. As the year draws to a close, I've been looking back over it and spending some time reflecting and remembering the good, the bad, the hard, the normal... It's been a big year. So for posterity, a recap of some of the major events of 2011 in our family:

January:

Birthday Celebration: Lucas and Jacob turned 36, and we were all able to celebrate together with a night out eating pizza, bowling, and hitting the video arcade (lots of fun for kids old and young!). This was just one of many, many special times we were able to enjoy while Jacob and Laura were living in Siloam Springs. It was one of the sweetest parts of the year!

Little Rock: Toward the end of January, Lucas, Max, Maggie and I took a weekend trip to Little Rock, where Max and Maggie got to experience their first political rally at the Walk for Life at the state capitol, and Max got to hold some cold hard cash ($250,000!) at the state treasury. We also enjoyed a great visit with our good friends the Breitensteins as well as my grandparents in Malvern.

New Baby(ies)! We announced to the world that we were expecting our third baby, due around August 1st! We also celebrated that Jacob and Laura were expecting their first baby, due just two weeks later!

February:

Snowmaggedon: Siloam Springs experienced record snow fall when we got about two feet of snow in one day! Lucas got stranded at work but managed to hitch and hike home to us, despite the crazy amount of snow. Max and Maggie LOVED playing in the snow! It was cold, folks. Really, really cold.

It's a Boy!: We found out that our new little one was a boy! Max was elated, Maggie was devastated, and Lucas and I were just thankful that he was healthy and on his way! Mom was able to come with me to the ultrasound, which was so special. She really thought it was going to be a girl!

Valentine's Day: We spent Valentine's Day in the hospital with my mom. She had to be rushed to the hospital by ambulance on February 12 when she suddenly showed signs of a stroke at home with my Dad. We learned a couple days later that her cancer had spread extensively throughout her brain, and her doctors said there were no more treatment options and sent her home to hospice care.

My mom received this news and the subsequent days with more grace than I could have imagined. In retrospect, I see what a gift she gave us. As was the habit of her life, in the midst of what must have been more difficult for her than I can imagine, she faced it all with humility and grace and courage and dignity. I believe she did this not only by the power of the Holy Spirit and out of a desire to honor God every moment, but also in order to make it all as easy as possible for her family. The whole world could not have contained the respect I had for her in her final days on this earth.

Sacred and Excrutiating: We spent the last two weeks of February and the first two weeks of March caring for my mom as she was dying. These were sweet, sacred, exhausting and excruciating days. I would not have traded those days by her side for anything in this old world.

I think this is the last picture ever taken of us, just a couple weeks before she died. We were at Mitch's restaurant, Smoke, where she was enjoying two of her greatest joys in life: her entire family together and a gourmet meal.

March:

March 14, 2001: My Mom went home to Jesus. My dad and brothers and I were gathered around her, and just a few minutes after her death, a loud clap of thunder filled the sky, as if to announce her departure from this universe. I was so thankful to be there with her at the very end. Lucas' Dad and Maria had come from California for the whole week prior to her death to help with Max and Maggie so I could just be with my mom. It's a gift I'll never forget. The next few days after her death were a strange mixture of difficult and relieving. It was such a relief to know that her pain and suffering and battling were finished; that she had finished this race so very well. But the thought of my whole life stretching out in front of me without my mom there to share it was (and is) simply overwhelmingly sad.

Kansas City: Before we knew my mom was entering hospice, some of my dearest friends and I had planned and booked a girls' weekend away in Kansas City. I wasn't sure how it was all going to work out, but God did. Less than two weeks after my mom died, I was away with these dear gals, and it was exactly what I needed. I was able to meet Amy's newest son, and these friends were so tender and caring with me after such a difficult month.

April:

Royal Wedding: Laura, Maggie and I made a little event of the Royal Wedding together. We got up at 4:30 to go to our local English Tea Room to watch the ceremony live. But the Tea Room was packed so we came back home and watched it together. It was a special memory for my own little princess. :-)

3-2-1 Blastoff!: When Lucas heard that NASA was discontinuing the Space Shuttle program, he began planning to take Max on a road trip to Florida to see one of the final shuttle launches at the Kennedy Space Center. At the end of April, Lucas and Max and our good friend Paul set off on their space adventure. After driving right through historic tornadoes in Alabama and getting stranded at a hotel with no electricity or gasoline available for a 50 mile radius, they finally made it to Florida. The shuttle launch ended up being delayed a whole week and they were not able to stay that long, but they did get to visit the shuttle on the launch pad and immerse themselves in all things space for a few days. I know it's an experience Maximus (and Lucas!) will never forget!

May:

On the Move.... AGAIN: With the help of some very selfless family and friends, Lucas and I made our eighth move in eight years of marriage. We now call a beautiful house in Siloam Springs home, and we hope to for many decades to come. We are so thankful for and LOVE our new home that God so generously and miraculously provided for us to buy. And as this completely and utterly exhausted pregnant woman moved the last few boxes from the car to the new garage, I burst into tears and told Lucas, "I never want to move again until I move to Heaven!" May it be so.

Celebrating Baby Sweetie: I had the pure joy of hosting a baby shower for Laura the second week in our brand new home! Celebrating this new little life was one of the things that really kept me smiling on some sad days.

Making Music: My sweet niece Susan and Nephew Jackson performed wonderfully at our little piano recital at the end of our year of piano lessons together! I love these two and have been so thankful for the opportunity to teach them.

Beach or Bust: While we were waist-deep in boxes and packing paper as we were preparing to move, my very wise husband booked us a 5-day getaway to Cancun, Mexico for two weeks after we moved. Coming off some of the most difficult months of my life with my mom's death and a move during my third trimester of pregnancy, this trip was an extravagant gift to me in every way. My dear and also very pregnant sister-in-law Laura kept Max and Maggie for nearly a week so that Lucas and I could go and have the time to truly rest and invest some much-needed time for our marriage after a difficult year. I read three books, sat on the beach, slept A LOT and took time to really stop and cry about my mom for the first time and also mentally and emotionally prepare for bringing a new baby home. I'm not sure I would have made it through the spring without this trip. I believe more firmly than ever that the ocean is good for the soul. Especially for 30-weeks-pregnant souls. And sipping frozen beverages while lounging under grass-topped beach umbrellas can't hurt, either. :-)

Unfortunately, all our photos from our trip were inadvertently sacrificed to a computer malfunction, except for this one of Lucas. We had some really gorgeous ones, but I guess you'll just have to trust me on this one. It was paradise.

June:

I honestly can't remember what we did in June. I guess we unpacked the rest of our house, set up a nursery, did laundry, cooked meals, scrubbed toilets and caught up on all the other normal duties of life.

July:

RICE: Roebucks Initiate Creative Entertainment 2011 in Roswell, New Mexico: Jacob and Laura and Laura's parent's Bill and Polly hosted an off-the-charts awesome friend reunion in their Roswell, NM home over the July 4th holiday weekend. We were thrilled to have my Dad join us for the weekend, and Max and Maggie got to play with some of their favorite little buddies and we grown-ups got to catch up with some of our favorite long-time friends. We were so thankful for all the work the Roebucks and Hartmans did to host the event, and for all the friends who were able to travel from all over the country to be together this summer!

Sisters and Showers: Just a few days after returning from Roswell, several of Lucas' brothers and their wives and his Mom and Tony converged on our new house to enjoy a wonderful family weekend together! Some sweet friends hosted a baby shower for me (Thanks, Allison and Christine!) and timed it so that many of my wonderful sisters-in-law could come, too. For someone who grew up with all boys, I sure am rich in sisterhood these days!

Maggie's Graduation: A couple weeks before Alexander was born, Maggie and I spent a whole day together doing all her favorite things. We called it her graduation from being the baby of the family to being a big sister. We went to the pet store, the book store, had lunch together, had ice cream and saw the movie Winnie the Pooh together. It was such a special day!

Welcome, Alexander James Roebuck!: On July 28th, we welcomed our third child into the world! He weighed 8 lbs. 4 oz and was born at 1:28 p.m. My labor and delivery with him were the smoothest yet, and he hasn't stopped making life as easy as possible for us since day one. He is truly the World's Best Baby. I know I'm his mom and I'm probably biased. But really, he is. The world's. best. baby. Besides a little scare of some extreme weight loss during his first week of life and our subsequent realization that he was not going to be able to be breastfed, we've had a very smooth transition to life as a family of five. Xander is my pure delight, and has been God's grace to me in every possible way for this year. Experiencing new life has been so incredibly important for me during this year of grief.

My mom's sister, Carol, came and spent the two weeks leading up to Alexander's birth with me and was with me during labor. She let me hang onto her while I got the epidural and held my hand throughout the day. I can't tell you what it meant to me to have her there on a day when I was missing my mother so fiercly. I was so grateful.

Lucas' mom was also such a help! She came and kept Max and Maggie while we were in the hospital and was waiting for us at home when we brought Alexander home from the hospital. I was so thankful for her!

August:

Heat Wave: It was hot, folks. Really, really hot.

First Day of School: Max started kindergarten about two weeks after Alexander was born. We were thrilled to find out that he would have Mrs. Fox as his teacher, not only because she is a great teacher, but also because she was a good friend of my mom's when they both taught kindergarten at Northside together. We could also hardly believe it when we learned that Max would also be in the same class with his very best friend, Jakin, and also two other friends, Anna and Laura. We could not have asked for a better first school experience for him. It has been everything we prayed for and more! We are thankful! Max is thriving in school, and like his Daddy and his mommy, he loves to write. He received The Respect Award, and we were so proud and thankful for how well he is doing in school.

New High School: We got to attend the dedication of the new Siloam Springs High School, an event that was really important to my Dad. He and his colleagues have worked so hard to make this beautiful facility a reality, and it was fun to share their excitement at the dedication.

Grandpa and Abuelita Visit: We loved having Lucas' Dad and Maria visit us for a week to meet Alexander and celebrate Max and Maggie's birthdays with a joint birthday fiesta! Max and Maggie got their first bikes.

Welcome, Penelope!: Jacob and Laura's first child was born on August 28- Maggie's 4th birthday! I was literally sobbing with joy at the news of her birth. Lucas wasn't sure if I was going to be OK. After I composed myself a bit, he asked me whether I thought it was strange that I cried harder at the birth of Laura's baby than I had at the birth of my own baby. At that point, I was just too giddy to answer.

September:

Back to Roswell: Once again, my husband proved his super-star husband status by buying me a plane ticket to fly me and Alexander out to see Laura and meet Penelope when she was just two weeks old and Alexander was six weeks old. It was one of the most special few days of my life. Laura's grandma told us we were just like two little girls playing house with our baby dolls.

October:

Settling in: October was pretty low-key. Alexander learned to sleep through the night (yay!), and I turned 32. More laundry, cooking, cleaning, disciplining, baby-caring, etc.

My little package of pure joy for 2011

Surprise!: We planned a surprise birthday party for my dad. It has obviously been an incredibly difficult year for him as well, and it felt so good to bring just a little bit of sunshine his way during some lonely days.

Kansas City: Lucas and I had planned a little getaway to Kansas City and were going to leave Max and Maggie with his mom, but Maggie got sick at the last minute and so we ended up having to change our plans and make it a little family getaway. It ended up being some great family time together. We were also able to swing by Lucas' Mom and Tony's new home in Missouri to visit them. What a gorgeous spot they've found! The kids loved raking leaves with Gramma.

November:

Women's Retreat: I had the joy of leading worship at an overnight women's retreat for our church. It might have been a bit ambitious to do this with a three month old, but I was thrilled to be a part of it, and Alexander was a champ as usual. And the ladies were all very gracious with me as I muddled through. :-)

Denver for Turkey: We took our first major road trip as a family of five to Denver for a Huckaby family Thanksgiving. Joe and Tammy are awesome hosts, and we all had a fabulous time together!

December:

Introducing Xander to Great Mama and Great Papa: I got to make a whirlwind trip to Little Rock to introduce Alexander to my grandparents and also visit my dear friend Janel before she and John move their family to Uganda in a few weeks.

Look Who's Reading!: Maggie surprised us all when she started full-blown reading this month! I knew she was learning certain words here and there, but I was shocked one day when she picked up the package from a cookie mix we were making and began reading the directions to me! I pulled out a few simple readers with her and found that, yes, my four-year-old can read simple words. I'll admit it, I'm the overly-proud parent... but this just makes me so happy! My mom would have LOVED hearing her read. It's so fun to see these second-born kids pick things up so quickly as they learn along with their older siblings!

Dees family Christmas celebration: It was hard without my mom, but we did it.... And even had a really special time in spite of missing her so very much. It felt like a milestone for our family, and I'm glad it's done. It was the last major holiday we had to do without her for the first time.

Christmas with our Little Family: If this photo doesn't make you smile.... well, then you must not be the mom to these kids. At the end of a tough year, I've got these smiling faces to wake up with every single morning, and I'm thankful. It's been a particularly meaningful Christmas for me, as I've had to stop in the midst of grieving my mom and simply be grateful for the hope that Christ brought at His humble birth.

Here we are in all our Christmas morning splendor! Ha!

Maggie said her favorite part of Christmas this year was baking together.

Waking up their Dad: "Time for presents! Time for presents!"

And that's it, friends. 2011 in a rather large nutshell. I know for sure that I wouldn't have made it through 2011 without all the love and prayer and help from so many of you.

As with so many things this year, I have mixed emotions about closing out 2011. On one hand, I'm just glad we made it... And thankful that God has been so faithful. On the other hand, I sort of hate to say goodbye to the final year that I shared with my mom here on this earth. I know we'll open up 2012 with lots of wonderful things to look forward to, but it makes me sad to think that this will be the first year that my mom will not share any part of our lives. But then I remember that this whole life is just a blip on the radar or eternity, and we'll all be back together soon.

Thank you, friends, for following along as I recapped our year. It's good, free therapy. :-) I hope your 2012 brings many, many good things to your lives!

Getting in the Holiday Spirit!

2011-11-29T15:17:00.003-07:00

I love Christmas music! I'm buying some new Christmas music today and was so excited to see the Straight No Chaser Holiday Spirits mp3 album and the Bebo Norman Christmas... From The Realms Of Glory mp3 album each for only $5 on Amazon today. Fun!

A glimpse of our Thanksgiving

2011-11-29T14:10:00.002-07:00

So much for which to be thankful! Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!

Three Months Old

2011-11-19T20:08:00.004-07:00

Here are a couple of Alexander's three-month-old pictures from a few weeks ago. He is doing so well. Sleeping well through the night, smiling, cooing. A pure delight:

Best Birthday Present Ever

2011-10-22T08:04:00.003-06:00

Maximus wrote me a book for my birthday. He did this project 100% on his own. I loved it so much it brought tears to my eyes. Max is such a thoughtful little guy! And without further ado, "Like" by Max:

"Mom likes outside."

"Mom likes dad."

(Oh, my word. The tie on Lucas is just too much!!)

"Mom likes the ocean."

"Mom likes her family."

Quote of the Day

2011-10-11T08:44:00.002-06:00

Maggie: I don't need to be teached!

I'm Shocked; Shocked, I Say!

2011-10-07T11:50:00.002-06:00

What?!? I slept through my midnight snack? Went the whole night without any milk? How did THAT happen?!

We have a through-the-night sleeper! And there was great rejoicing! At exactly ten weeks old, Alexander decided to stretch his night sleep just a little bit longer and made it seven hours, from 10:30-5:30. Let's hope he keeps it up!

The Respect Award

2011-10-07T11:41:00.002-06:00

On Tuesday Max received The Respect Award at Northside Elementary!

He was selected with other students who had demonstrated a respectful attitude at school and was recognized at their school-wide character assembly. I was so proud of him, and thankful that his school spends time on character education even though they have such strict accountability to teach a challenging kindergarten curriculum.

My dad was able to come to the little assembly, so Max wanted his picture taken with Grandpapa and Baby Brother. Maggie and I didn't make the cut. :-)

What We've Been up to: Alexander

2011-10-03T11:50:00.002-06:00

You guessed it: Alexander is mostly eating, sleeping and filling up diapers these days. :-) But he's also adding some new items to his repertoire, including smiling and cooing!

He had his 2-month check-up at the pediatricians office this week, and here are his stats:

Height: 23 inches (50th percentile)

Weight: 10 lbs. 15 oz. (25th percentile)

Head size: 16 (50th percentile)

He's starting to sleep slightly longer at night! I usually feed him his last feeding of the night about 10:30 and then he will sleep until about 3:30 or 4. Not too bad, but I sure am looking forward to those 8-hour stretches of sleep!

What We've Been Up To: Maggie

2011-10-03T11:31:00.006-06:00

Maggie is a very energetic and busy four year old! She has taken on her roll as big sister with flying colors and loves her baby brother. She reads him stories and hugs him and baby talks to him. It's sweet, and I've been so proud of her in this area of her life.

She is also learning so much these days, and I suspect she will be doing a significant amount of reading in the next few months. She is learning along side Max as he brings work home from school, and she is already reading several words!

Maggie loves art! This is one of her recent drawings of (in her words) "Bethany Hamilton on her soul surfer board on a wave before she got attacked by the shark." :-)

P.S. We recently watched the movie Soul Surfer as a family and really enjoyed it. It made for some great discussion with our kids about how we can respond when hard things happen in life! We loved the special features with interviews with the real Bethany Hamilton– She and her family used this difficult situation to give honor to Jesus in such a public way. Awesome. We totally recommend it; the shark attack scene is too intense for little ones but is easily editable, and I thought the rest was very family friendly!

What We've Been Up To: Max

2011-10-03T11:25:00.004-06:00

Max turned six years old on Tuesday, Sept. 27th. We had an impromptu birthday "party" in his kindergarten lunch room.

Maximus absolutely loves school. He is working hard on his reading and writing and is doing so well! Here is one of the papers he brought home this week that made me smile.

Conversations with Max and Maggie

2011-09-20T14:56:00.005-06:00

Maggie: Mom, I have two plans for if a bad guy ever comes into our house. First, if he has a gun or a sword, we will take the gun or sword away from him and cut him or shoot him. Second, we will take some milk out of the refrigerator for 15 minutes, and once it is bad we will pour it in his mouth.

Max: Ummmm, Maggie, I don't think the #2 plan will work. Actually, I don't think the #1 plan will work either. Neither plan will work. How could you take a sword or a gun from the robber before he hurts you with it? Besides, robbers don't use swords.

Maggie: Well, you could make him say 'Surrender'!

Max: No, those plans won't work.

Life with Alexander

2011-09-16T15:42:00.003-06:00

In some time warp that I don't completely understand, seven weeks have passed since Alexander's birth. The days and weeks just keep flying by as we've started Max in Kindergarten, celebrated Max and Maggie's birthdays, enjoyed a good visit from Lucas' Dad and Maria, and (Xander and I) flew to New Mexico for a few days to see Laura and welcome new baby Penelope! His first few weeks of life have happened in a blink!

Before Alexander was born, a couple of different friends told me that you're simply on the go more with #3, and I've definitely found that to be true. God has again graciously given me exactly what I needed, a very mellow-personalitied baby #3. Alexander has definitely been a trooper as we've toted him all over creation during his first few weeks of life!

Since we returned from New Mexico this week, I am feeling like we can finally settle into "normal" life as a family of five. Interestingly enough, "normal" newborn life with Alexander has turned out to be quite a bit different than the newborn phase was with Max and Maggie. I am finding that one never quite gets past the learning curve in parenting!

Alexander is definitely his own person. He apparently doesn't want to fall in line and do everything just like his older siblings did! After giving us a bit of a weight-loss scare during his second week of life (he dropped from a birth weight of 8 lb. 4 oz. down to 6 lb. 15 oz.), we discovered that he had such a weak suck that he was practically getting no nutrients from breastfeeding. I worked really hard to try to get him to nurse better, but in the end we had to switch to bottle feeding him pumped breast milk plus formula to supplement. I'm still nursing him a little, but he is now primarily a bottled-fed baby. It's been really tough for me to let go of breastfeeding– It's something I value, and having never had any problems with it for Max or Maggie, I wasn't prepared for the possibility of not be able to do it with Alexander.

Lucas has been really good to encourage me throughout this process– the highest value here is that Alexander is able to get what he needs, which is apparently going to look a little different for him than the other two. My dad also reminded me to be thankful: a couple hundred years ago, before breast pumps, or formula or even bottles were widely available, our son probably would have died or been a very, very sickly child. I am so grateful that I am able to pump to get him the benefits of breast milk, and I am really grateful that good formulas are available to supplement for the rest. He is healthy and thriving, and that's the most important thing.

But since feeding a newborn is such a big part of their care, and feeding Alexander has been so different than my first two, I feel like a new mom all over again! I've had to ask a lot of questions and do a lot of learning about bottle feeding, pumping and supplementing. I've found that for me, bottle-feeding seems like a bigger hassle and takes more time over-all than breastfeeding, but that it is nice that he is not completely dependent on my body for eating. I'm enjoying the upsides, including that Lucas and others can help occasionally, and it's a lot easier for feeding on-the-go and when we are out and about.

I'm excited to see more and more of Alexander's personality surfacing. He is just starting to give his first smiles! Everything about him seems to indicate that he's going to be a "Steady-Eddie" type of guy– He's pretty chilled out much of the time. Time will tell, and I can't wait to see just who God made this little guy to be!

First Day of School

2011-08-15T09:21:00.003-06:00

Today's the day! Maximus started kindergarten this morning at Northside Elementary. He told me last night at bedtime that the only thing he was nervous about was sleeping too late and missing the first day of school. He was so excited that he was out of bed and dressed for the day at the crack of dawn this morning!

We let him choose who he wanted to take him to school this morning, and of course he chose his Dad. No surprise there. :-) Lucas dropped him off at his classroom and Max started the day without a glance back. I'm sure it helped greatly that he has a great teacher (Mrs. Fox) and several of his best little buddies in his class this year. We are so thankful and are praying that he has a wonderful year.

I can't wait to pick him up this afternoon and hear how his day went!

Alexander's Birth

2011-08-03T09:51:00.010-06:00

**Disclaimer: This post contains details about Alexander's birth. I'm posting both for my own journaling purposes and because I know a lot of you gals out there enjoy some of these not-too-graphic details.... but feel free to skip this post if you're not into birth stories!

Alexander's due date was August 1, but a couple weeks before his birth my doctor started talking about the possibility of a planned induction and gave us the option to move ahead with that once we got a little closer to his due date. Since the doctor said I was progressing and everything looked favorable for the induction, we decided to proceed with that plan. I'm so glad we did!

This was our best birth experience yet, and that combined with all of the help and rest Aunt Carol had given me in the week leading up to the birth made for a very smooth delivery day and adjustment to life back at home with three. What a gift from God to me during a tough milestone without my mom here- I've been so thankful.

On Wednesday, the day before Alexander's birth, Lucas' mom drove in from her new home in Missouri, less than two hours away from us. What a change in distance from her and Tony's previous home in Oregon! I am thankful to have them so much closer. She arrived in the afternoon just in time to watch the kids while I went to my final doctor's appointment. Aunt Carol came with me, and I was able to get some final questions answered before moving forward with the induction, which we had scheduled for early the next morning. My sis-in-law Meagan treated me to a manicure after the appointment- what a great gift; it was such a relaxing thing to do on the evening before Alexander's birth!

We had decided to deliver at the hospital in Siloam Springs, and we were supposed to check in at 5 a.m. for the induction. We left the kids in great hands with Gramma Cheryl, and amazingly enough for Lucas and I, who neither one do well with early mornings, we were walking out the door at 4:55 a.m., ready for the big day:

Leaving for the hospital: 4:55 a.m.

We arrived at the hospital right at 5:00 a.m., and Aunt Carol met us there. We sat down at the check-in desk, and I was feeling a little bit jittery and nervous and excited.... and mostly just ready to have this next part over with and have our son in my arms.

A very kind woman at the desk wanted to quickly verify the information we had on file with the hospital. Name, Address, phone number, Emergency contact... "Still Kerwin and Vicki Dees, grandparents?" Gulp. Lucas jumped in and corrected the information, and I took a deep breath as the L & D nurse came and got us and took us to our room.

When we got to our room and settled in about 5:30 a.m., Lucas decided to text my dad and let him know we were at the hospital and getting started. Less than two seconds later, my dad texted back: "I'll be right there." My sweet dad came at the crack of dawn and wanted to be up there all day, even though this is an extremely busy week for him at work.

Aunt Carol was by my side all day and went to work immediately, asking the nurses to find and send the nurse who was very best nurse at IV insertion, and holding on tight to me as the anesthesiologist got my epidural in after three very uncomfortable attempts. I was so relieved to have those two parts of the day over with!

After that, the morning went by pretty uneventfully. The doctor came in and checked me– I started out the morning at 2 cm dilated– and then he broke my water. I was having some regular contractions, but not enough to get things really moving, so they started me on pitocin. We kept the room pretty quiet and dark all morning, and I was able to relax and sleep a little, and Lucas and I also made a final decision about what our son's middle name would be. The nurse checked me again at 11:30 and said I was at a 4 and the baby was still basically as high as he could be at a -3 station. I settled in and figured that it might be a long day of waiting, but I was comfortable and not having any pain.

About an hour later, the contraction pain started to ramp up just a little, and Aunt Carol came and sat by me and helped me relax through them. She was asking me all about our trip to Cancun in May and had me describe the most serene parts of our trip.

I had been nervous about my epidural wearing off, because my legs weren't really not numb at all, and I thought "there's no way this epidural is going to get me through transition,"especially since they had just checked me and I was only at a 4! The nurse told me they needed to refill the medication in the epidural line, so I thought I was feeling the contractions more because they were changing out the meds. After she took care of that, the nurse decided to check me again when she saw I was really having to breathe through the contractions. I was shocked when she told me at just before 1 p.m. that I was fully dilated to a 10!

She said if I could hold off on pushing for a little while that it might make the delivery go more smoothly, so I decided to try to do that. My dear friend Anna had just come by to check on me, and she came and sat with me for a few minutes until the nurse came in and said it was showtime! I started pushing at about 1:15ish, and Alexander was born at 1:28. I really couldn't have asked for a more smooth labor and delivery!

Lucas and I both said out loud as soon as he was born- "Wow- he's big!"

At 8lbs., 4 oz., He looked so much bigger than Max and Maggie had when they were born

(Max weighed 6 lbs. 15 oz, Maggie was 6 lbs. 12 oz.).

I had plenty of tears of joy as I met him for the first time.

Very soon after he was born, we were able to introduce Alexander to his big brother and sister, who were SO EXCITED to meet him. Maggie had this amazed smile on her face and was completely speechless for at least 30 seconds- perhaps a new record for her. :-) She quickly snapped out of her state of wonder and exclaimed, "Give me my baby!" Max was practically glowing with pride.

We were so thankful to have a lot of family there to welcome Alexander on his first day in the world. Gramma Cheryl, my dad, Aunt Carol, Uncle Russ, Aunt Meagan, Uncle Tyler, my cousin Brandon and several great friends were there in the hours after his birth to meet him. I was thankful to be feeling very well in the afternoon after an easy delivery, and I really enjoyed celebrating with everyone!

Meagan made this adorable sign to hang on our hospital room door!

We stayed one night in the hospital, and we were able to take Alexander home on Friday after lunch when he was exactly 24 hours old.

First car ride: 1.3 miles from the hospital to home.

Thank you, Lord, for bringing Alexander James into the world safe and healthy. We are so grateful for our new son and can't wait to see what God has in store for him!

Welcome, Alexander!

2011-07-31T21:41:00.004-06:00

Alexander James Roebuck

July 28, 2011 • 1:28 p.m.

8 lbs. 4 oz. • 20.25 inches

On Receiving Help

2011-07-26T08:55:00.002-06:00

I'm less than one week out from my due date, and it looks like this little guy is going to arrive in the next few days. We are all excited and eager to meet him!

My mom's sister, Carol, has been here all week helping me prepare in body and soul for this baby's birth. She has given so much to me– she's been taking the kids on outings every day (which they are loving, of course!) so that I can sneak a nap in here and there; going to the doctor with me; and offering a hug and a teardrop or two that we both understand at just the right moments. Her arrival has given new meaning to the term "Godsend" for me.

Since Aunt Carol's been here, I've been thinking a lot about what my mom taught me about receiving help. She taught me, especially in her last three years of life, that simply and gratefully receiving and accepting help when we need it is a posture of humility and grace. It's a posture that recognizes that we are weak, that we can't do it on our own. It's a posture that understands that God has sent help not only because He loves me, but because He loves the giver.

My pride bucks against this idea, of course. I want to prove that I'm capable and strong and independent– which is actually laughable to anyone who's around me for more than about 30 seconds! When I'm able to simply and humbly accept help– without trying to downplay or repay the gift– the Gospel is at work in my life. I want to live in that place more.

The Lord knows that I've been at a pretty needy place the last few weeks. And the truth is, I didn't even know how badly I would need my Aunt here until she arrived. The Lord knew. And I'm truly grateful to the point of being overwhelmed. Out of love for me and for Carol, He sent her at just the right time. I'm actually feeling rested in body and soul for the first time in months. I actually feel like I can do this now!

Thank you for all of you who have been praying for me in the last few weeks. I know you have been. I've been receiving your help, too. Thank you, thank you, my dear friends.

Happy news is on the horizon! Can't wait to introduce you all to the new little man.

Happy Birthday, Grandpa Chaney!

2011-07-25T15:58:00.004-06:00

Here's a little birthday message for one of our favorite Grandpas.... these video clips also happen to offer some insight into the personalities of these two little Roebucks, hence the inclusion of the outtake. :-)

A message for Grandpa Chaney, Take 1:

A message for Grandpa Chaney, Take 2:

We love you, Dad/ Grandpa Chaney. Wish we could be with you on your special day!

School Supplies!

2011-07-19T19:05:00.004-06:00

I have a big master "To Do" list going of all the things to keep me productive and on track until this baby makes his grand entrance. One of the items on the list: Get Max's school supplies. I couldn't believe it when I pulled out the calendar today because Max wanted to know how many days until school starts. Three Weeks and Three Days until Kindergarten Open House!!! Wow- and I know it is going to be a whirlwind between now and then with the baby's arrival.

So off to Walmart we went with school supply list in hand. Max was so excited, and so was I. I always loved school supply time when I was a kid- and it was so fun to see Max enjoy it as well. He wanted to sit in the cart to organize the items as we picked them out. He told me, "I've got them all organized, because it's important to be organized when you're in school." :-)

Kindergarten, here we come!

Remembering

2011-07-15T09:23:00.004-06:00

Today we were opening up a package of sight word magnets to work on, and I mentioned that Grandmama Vicki had bought these for us. Max asked why she got them for us, and I said it was because she loved to see her grandkids learning to read and write. I told them that before she had cancer, she was a kindergarten teacher at the same school Max will be going to in a few weeks.

A huge smile came across his face and he giggled. "I wish I could be in that class," he said through his giggle.

And it just made me so happy and sad all at once. Happy because he remembers. Happy because he knows how much she loved him and how much she loved to teach him. Sad because we won't be able to share this huge kindergarten milestone with her, and she would have loved it. Sad because it's only been four months, and so many years stretch out ahead where we'll be missing her.

Mom never really felt like being a teacher was her calling in life. But she sure was good at it.

"But Mom, My Animals Really Needed a Bath"

2011-06-20T15:32:00.000-06:00

Bitter–Sweet

2011-06-16T17:35:00.005-06:00

It's been a hard few weeks. I'm waging a mental battle between gratitude and sadness. I know I have so much to be grateful for, and I believe that should be enough to keep me from being so sad. And yet, I'm sad.

Nowhere is this tension more poignant than in the preparations to welcome our sweet baby boy into our home. Of course I'm so thankful that God has blessed us with this little life, I'm excited to meet him, and I am so grateful that he appears to be healthy and growing. But as his due date approaches (just about 6 weeks away), I'm finding myself having such a different response than I have in my other pregnancies. It's hard to explain, but instead of the eagerness I felt at this point with my other two, I'm facing a slight sense of uncertainty, even dread– if I'm willing to admit it.

I don't want to do this without my mom.

It's not that I'm afraid or dreading making the transition to three kids without my mom's physical and emotional help, although she was such a tremendous help when my other two babies were born. I just don't want to cross this line. I don't want enter a new phase of life that she will never have touched. And yet this little one is coming and life is moving on. It's a newborn baby, for Pete's sake! Pure sweetness. But tinged with bitter these days.

Last week I washed all his tiny clothes, set up his dresser and put together his crib. But I couldn't quite figure out how to finish the assembly on the crib, and then burst into tears realizing that my mom had assembled this crib before both Max and Maggie were born. My poor husband came home from work to find me sitting at the computer sobbing as I tried to see through my tears to google the make and model of the crib to find assembly instructions. Not a good moment.

But I will do this. God has so graciously heaped blessing upon blessing upon blessing on me during the last three months, and this child is certainly the greatest of those blessings. I am certain that the timing of his life and his arrival's intersection with my own grief is not arbitrary, but orchestrated by a gracious God Who loves me and Who loves him.

We are just about ready to welcome the new little buddy. He's coming into a family with a whole lot of grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins and love. So even if his mommy is a tad bit sad underneath the celebration, I think he'll be okay. I suppose that sadness is born of love, too.

What Maggie Thinks About A Lot These Days

2011-06-13T19:37:00.003-06:00

Maggie: "This is Aunt Laura with her baby in her womb, and Uncle Jake when he was a little boy."

Great Deal on Groupon today

2011-06-01T20:47:00.002-06:00

Old Navy fans, don't miss today's Groupon deal:

Get $20 of merchandise credit to Old Navy for just $10. Love it!

I thought this was hilarious and so true!

2011-06-01T12:54:00.003-06:00

I'm thinking back to every computer problem Lucas has ever solved for me (there have been a few!), and I now realize that he followed this exact flow chart every time. Genius! :-)

http://xkcd.com/627/

Conversations with Max and Maggie

2011-05-31T22:15:00.003-06:00

Me: Maggie, I really loved how you and Anna and Mikaiah all three played together so nicely today so that no one was left out.

Max: What's 'left out?'

Me: It means when some kids are playing together and they don't include all the kids in whatever they're doing. It can be especially tricky when there are three friends because two friends might play together and leave the other friend out. Next year when you're in school, I bet you'll get a lot of practice showing kindness by including all the kids– by helping make sure nobody gets left out.

Max: Or, I could just go play with the kid who's alone and being left out.

Lucas: That would be a very honorable thing to do. That would make me proud.

Maggie: (quickly interrupting, as if she's looking for some hypothetically honorable action she could contribute...) Well, if I'm in school and I see girls being silly, I'll just DO A BOOTY DANCE!!!

Oh, my.

Conversations with Maximus

2011-05-31T22:11:00.002-06:00

On our way to the restroom in Sam's Club, Max spots a poster on the wall of their offices titled "Entrepreneur's Creed" with a picture of Sam Walton's face under the title.

Max: Look- There's Sam Walton.

Me: Max, how did you know that was Sam Walton?

Max: I just checked my brain.

Her Grandmama's Girl

2011-05-19T08:48:00.004-06:00

Maggie spotted these 5-inch beauties in TJMaxx and just had to try them on. She looked up and said, "OOoooooh, Look, Mommy! These shoes totally fit me!"

She definitely did not get this shoe fetish from me. I'm pinning this one on Grandmama Vicki. :-)

Conversations with Maximus

2011-05-17T21:10:00.003-06:00

Max: I love this Batman shirt. I just LOVE Batman! What does 'love' mean, anyway?

Me: Well... it means you care deeply about something or someone. It's more than really, really liking something.

Max: (thinking for a moment) Huh. I really like Batman. But I love, LOVE God!

After a Week with Paul T. Semones

2011-05-09T20:30:00.002-06:00

Max and Lucas just returned from a week-long road trip adventure to visit the Kennedy Space Center with our good friend Paul. I need get to some photos of their trip up here, but in the mean time, here are some of the things Max is saying since his return from studying all things NASA. Basically, he likes to use the word "engineer" as many times as possible in any given sentence:

Max: Mommy, come look at the tall castle I built. At first I didn't have it properly engineered. I didn't have it built right on the bottom to make it work on the top. But then I engineered it and added these parts at the bottom so that it would work.

Getaway ideas

2011-05-02T16:00:00.004-06:00

Lucas and I are hoping to take a trip together before baby #3 arrives. Does anybody out there have recommendations for an affordable, relaxing destination? I would love a beach, but our budget is pretty tight and so we'll need to drive there from NWA. I'm willing to get creative, though. So if anybody knows of any scientific studies in teleportation that would to take us from Arkansas to, say, the Canary Islands, Spain or Goa, India or Anguilla for a week... I think we'd consider giving it a shot. :-)

Seriously, though... any good ideas for getaways out there, friends?

Jenna-Clare is publishing her first novel!

2011-05-02T09:27:00.002-06:00

My dear friend and college roommate Jenna-Clare is publishing her first novel! Check it out: click this link and like her page, and/or pledge some support to help her reach her publishing goals and get a first-run copy of the book! So excited for J-C!

A Royal at Heart

2011-04-29T09:00:00.002-06:00

Somebody woke up early to watch the Royal Wedding of William and Catherine with her mum and auntie. I see many days of princess bride dreams ahead of us....

He is Risen Indeed

2011-04-24T18:54:00.002-06:00

It's Easter night, and I just tucked my children into bed. Max asked if we could sing "Christ the Lord is Risen Today" as a bedtime song. After we sang it once, he asked if he could write some new words for the song. Here are his new lyrics, to the tune of "Christ the Lord is Risen Today":

A-lle-luia, Praise the LORD,

Alleluia.

The Holy LORD, He is Love,

Alleluia.

What a perfectly sweet way to end this Easter.

A Blink

2011-04-14T16:17:00.004-06:00

My mom died one month ago today. It seems like a lot longer to me. I wonder if it feels like just a blink to her.

Entrepreneur

2011-04-12T13:34:00.003-06:00

Maggie: Mommy, what is that place?

Me: That's the Soderquist Business Center.

Maggie: When I'm four, I'm going to have a business.

Me: Oh, yeah? What kind of business?

Maggie: A princess dress-up business.

Me: That sounds neat. How will your business work?

Maggie: I will get lots of money out of my piggy bank, and when the people come, I will give them the money.

Me: Well, that's going to be a very popular business.

Maggie: Yes.

Lucas Roebuck's Son

2011-04-12T08:41:00.002-06:00

Max: Mommy, can you come watch me play?

Me: What are you playing?

Max: I'm playing "Take Over the Universe." I made it up. It's just a demo.

Conversations with Max and Maggie

2011-04-01T10:15:00.002-06:00

Last night as I was tucking Maggie into bed:

Maggie: Oooooo, I like your earrings. Someday will you buy me some earrings like these?
Me: Someday when you're a grown-up lady you can have earrings.
Maggie: And we can even share our earrings!
Me: We can! Someday when you're grown up I won't even have to tell you what to do or give you spankings.
Maggie: [Giggles]
Me: Then we can be friends, because you'll be all grown up and you'll know how to make good choices.
Maggie: AND WE CAN SHARE OUR EARRINGS!!
Me: That's right. Do you want to pray tonight or do you want me to?
Maggie: I will:

"Dear God, Thank you for our beautiful day. Thank you that Grandmama Vicki is at heaven. Thank you for my new clothes. Thank you for my clothes that aren't new but are still pretty. Thank you for a Daddy that always likes to give me ice cream every day. Amen."

Conversations with Max and Maggie

2011-03-30T08:09:00.000-06:00

Maggie: Mommy, this is a picture of Grandmama dying.

Me: Tell me about it.

Maggie: This is Grandmama dying in the hot lava.

Max: Ummmm Maggie, Grandmama didn't die in hot lava.

Maggie: Fire?

Me: Maggie, remember Grandmama's body was broken and it didn't work anymore. She died of cancer.

Max: I don't think Maggie understands.

Me: It's okay.

Max: She doesn't understand. She's just a very tiny girl but I'm a big kid, so I understand.

Conversations with Maggie

2011-03-25T14:08:00.001-06:00

Maggie, strapped in her carseat on the way to her Grandmama's funeral:

Maggie: Well, I've got great news and really bad news. The bad news is, Grandmama is gone. The great news is, the trees are still here!

Not The Way It's Supposed To Be

2011-03-23T13:18:00.005-06:00

I've never really given sin the respect it deserves.

When life is moving along pretty smoothly with lots of happy things happening around me, it's easy to tuck sin behind a closet door or prop it up out of the way in a back corner. Out of sight, out of mind. It's easy to not think about how our whole existence was marred when humanity chose to bring sin into this world. It's easy to think that humanity is doing pretty well for ourselves.

Truth is, sin is a powerful force. No corner of this creation is left untouched.

I've never understood that truth more than while sitting at my mother's death bed. I watched her body slowly waste away. Day by day, I watched helplessly as death stripped every piece of life from her and replaced it with a something foreign and unwanted: trading walking for sitting; mobility for confinement; appetite for revulsion; privacy for intrusion; talking for silence; comfort for pain; consciousness for sleep; breath for stillness.

Several well-meaning and compassionate professionals tried to comfort me with reminders that what I was watching happen to my mom was "natural." At one point I really thought I would scream if I heard the phrase "the natural dying process" one more time. I wanted to burn all those little booklets on the dying process. Send them all up in flames– all those little blue booklets they give you describing what to expect in the final days of a loved-one's life.

I wanted to yell: Natural?! There is absolutely nothing natural about what is happening to my mom. This is not the way it was supposed to be! We were never created to have to endure this! Just because something has become "normal" doesn't make it "natural."

And in the midst of all this- now, NOW I can give sin the respect it deserves. I can look around this room and see my mom lying limp and dying on her bed, and I finally get it. Look what humanity has done! Just look what we've accomplished for ourselves! Death!

And so there's finally room in my world-contented heart for the Gospel– and a love for my Savior I've never known.

The Sad Things

2011-03-18T12:43:00.005-06:00

My mom died.

I was with her, and I am so thankful. There are a million possible scenarios where that wouldn't have been the case, but God gave me that gift. It was one of many, many gifts God has given me over the course of the last few weeks; one of many whispers: I'm here. I love you. I'm making this all new. I Am.

I feel like I've received a whole new education in faith, life, loss and grace in the last few weeks as well. It's not a degree I wanted, but it's one I'm glad I have. There is, of course, still so much to process, so much to grieve.

I'm suddenly and painfully aware of all the life events and milestones that stretch out in front of me where she'll be missing. How does one do the next big thing? The next load of laundry, the next art project with the kids– I can do those things. She's not missing there. But what about family meals? Holidays? The birth of this little one?

I believe now more than ever that there will be grace for those moments, too. It still feels a little overwhelming, though.

I couldn't sleep last night, so I picked up my phone and found a voice mail my mom left me on my birthday. Sometimes it pays off to never erase your voicemail. :-) I lay in the dark with the phone up to my ear and listened to it over and over and cried. It was just so good to hear her voice.

As I sat with her in the moments after she died, with my dad and my brothers and my aunts, I was truly shocked to realize that literally the moment she died, she didn't even look like herself anymore. I leaned in closer and wondered if, in another circumstance like an accidental death, if I had to identify this body, would I even be able to tell if it was my mom? She actually looked that different to me. It was just so obvious that she was no longer there.

And I thought about something that I read at least 10 years ago. At that time, I read this paragraph in a book and it stopped me cold. I thought it was one of the most accurate description of my mother I had ever read. Long before she had cancer. Long before I knew she was dying. Just in the midst of her 'normal' life. I came home after she died this week and found the dusty book on my shelf and found that paragraph and read it again. This was the woman I called Mother:

"Let the Word break over your heart and mind again and again as the years go by, and imperceptibly there will come great changes in your attitude and outlook and conduct. You will probably be the last to recognize these. Often you will feel very, very small, because increasingly the God of the Bible will become to you wonderfully great. So go on reading it until you can read it no longer, and then you will not need the Bible any more, because when your eyes close for the last time in death, and never again read the Word of God in Scripture you will open them to the Word of God in the flesh, that same Jesus of the Bible whom you have known for so long, standing before you to take you forever to His eternal home."

- Geoffrey Thomas, Reading the Bible.

The Happy Things

2011-03-13T21:48:00.004-06:00

Here's our sweet little guy- 3D ultrasound image at 19.5 weeks. The second one is my favorite,with his little arms up next to his face... although the printer on the ultrasound machine jammed up and wrinkled this one. I just love his sweet little face!

Conversations with Maggie

2011-03-01T08:49:00.002-07:00

Maggie walks into the kitchen carrying an arm-full of ponies and fairies.

Maggie: These girls are going to jail.

Me: Why do they have to go to jail?

Maggie: Because they made bad choices to other people, not just to their moms and dads.

Just Because They're Cute and I Love Them

2011-02-22T17:43:00.002-07:00

Conversations with Maggie

2011-02-22T17:39:00.003-07:00

After playing outside at Grandpapa and Grandmama's house last week:

Me: Ewwwww! Maggie, I forgot to make sure you washed your hands after you accidentally touched the dog's bottom. Gross. Gag. Cough. Gag.

Maggie: It's okay, Mom. Things happen.

Announcing... A New Roebuck Baby BOY!

2011-02-03T11:29:00.003-07:00

Yes, friends! We are expecting a BOY!

New Roebuck baby boy on the way and due around August 1. I am 14 weeks along, and we saw on the ultrasound today definitive proof that we indeed have a little boy on the way! We are thankful and excited.

One of the reasons we decided to find out the gender before the birth this time is that Max and Maggie both had their hearts set on their hope of gender for the baby. Max really wanted a baby brother while Maggie really, really wanted a sister. We hope that by finding our early, each of them can process that news early on and by the time baby arrives, it will just be what's expected and we can be all excitement and no disappointment when the big day arrives.

SO.... Maximus is of course overjoyed that it's a boy. He has been studying the ultrasound pictures and is beyond excited about the new brother on the way.

Maggie was, to put it delicately, disappointed. Here's how she took the news:

Lucas: We are having.... a baby BOY!

Maggie: (collapsing to the ground and bursting into tears) NO!! BUT I WANTED A GIRL!!

Lucas: I know, but how about a chocolate bar instead?

Maggie: (tears immediately stopping and she stands up) okay.

And that was that. Nothing like chocolate to soothe a girl's dashed hopes.

Now that we're past that little disappointment for Maggie, we're all excitement. We're thanking God for this great news and praying for health and safety all along the way!

Places I spent the night in 2010

2011-01-05T17:07:00.004-07:00

I saw this on a friend's blog and it got me thinking about all the places I've been in 2010. Here's my list, as far as I can remember:

Aurora, NE
Branson, MO
Siloam Springs, AR
Mubai, India
Tenali, India
Kolkata, India
Malvern, AR
Roswell, NM
Calexico, CA
Fallbrook, CA
San Diego, CA
Costa Mesa, CA
Livermore, CA
Escalon, CA
Grand Canyon, AZ
Albuquerque, NM
Los Angeles, CA
Camarillo, CA
Lakewood, CO

What a year! My first time out of the continental U.S., two trips to California, and lots of other adventures as well. I was reminded of all the hard work Lucas and some other family and friends did to take care of Max and Maggie while I was in India and California- THANK YOU! I can't wait to see what 2011 holds. Although I don't expect my 2011 destinations list to be nearly this long, I'm looking forward to whatever adventures we do have ahead.

What about you? Where have you rested your head in 2010? I think it's fun to see!

Conversations with Maggie: Christmas Edition

2010-12-16T15:46:00.002-07:00

Max and Maggie are playing with those annoying musical dancing Santas at the Walgreens checkout. The cashier tries to ask Maggie about Santa:

Cashier: Who's coming to see you this Christmas?

Maggie: Grandmama Vicki!!!

Cashier: No, who's coming to your house to bring you lots of presents?

Maggie: GRANDMAMA VICKI!!!!

Smart kid. :-)

COYOTE COUNTY LOSER now on DVD and Blu-Ray!

2010-12-16T08:44:00.002-07:00

Coyote County Loser, the romantic comedy that my brother-in-law Jacob produced and Lucas helped to write, is now available for purchase on DVD and Blu-Ray! This is a fun movie with a great message you can feel good about sharing with all of your family and friends!

Also, my parents are interviewed on the special features section, along with Jim Walters, as one of the real-life love stories that inspired the message behind Coyote County Loser. I think that is just so cool!

Order here!

The Inverse Power of Praise

2010-11-11T13:25:00.005-07:00

Photo by Phillip Toledano as seen with the linked article.

I found this New York Magazine article very interesting. The basic gist of the article is that research shows that praising our children for being "smart" or "intelligent" will make them less likely to try new things and can actually hamper their confidence instead of building it up. Instead, it might be better to praise their hard work instead of their "giftedness." This really makes me want to re-think how I praise my kids.

I read one commenter on this article who suggested praising liberally with our children for virtue, but only praising for intellect when it is used to further virtue or in a virtuous way. I think there's a lot of truth to the concepts in the article. It makes sense to me. Any thoughts?

The Sweetest Words

2010-10-27T14:33:00.004-06:00

Some of you may remember that Maggie has not exactly been uber-interested in spiritual things, a fact which I haven't been too worried about, knowing that this is something only the Holy Spirit can do. But I have certainly been praying that God would speak truth into her little heart. This morning her Bible Study Fellowship truth was that "Jesus is the Light of the world." This afternoon, she told me this:

Maggie: Mom, I do love Jesus. I love Jesus, and I have light in my heart. [pause] I don't always make good choices, but I do love Jesus.

It's quite a shift from the dozens of other conversations we've had about Jesus. It's especially thrilling to me coming from my little Maggie Mae, who isn't one to say things just because she thinks it's what other people want to hear. Probably just about the sweetest little words I've ever heard.

You should join us!

2010-10-18T07:30:00.002-06:00

Most of you know that I was able to travel to India in March with my sister-in-law Laura and International Princess Project. I am thrilled to let you know that IPP is bringing a piece of that experience right here to Siloam Springs this week!

If you live in Northeast Oklahoma or Northwest Arkansas, I'd love to see you at this free event Thursday night! Your eyes and heart will be opened to how God is working and moving in India.

Summer Visits

2010-10-04T18:31:00.008-06:00

Fall is here!! With the cooler weather that has (finally!) arrived, I've been thinking back over the past few months and reminiscing about summer. We had a truly wonderful summer this year, complete with lots of visits with special friends. We didn't get photos of everything, but here are a few highlights of some of the special visits we were able to enjoy with friends and family during Summer 2010:

Friends Sarah and Ryan and their two boys came through town just a few weeks ago, and we enjoyed a great evening with them. So great to catch up with this dear friend!

Grandma Norris, Aunt Debbie, Lucas' brother Joe and sis-in-law Tammy and our friend Jim (taking the photo) at Downtown Disney during our trip to Southern California.

Lucas' brother Sam and Anne at their home in the Bay Area, California.

We loved getting to see our dear friends Jeff and Amy and their two kiddos during our trip to California as well!

The Dees crew enjoyed a very special evening at Nibbles Academy of Cooking for an evening of learning to cook together! What fun!!

Our niece Susan had her piano recital at our home. I was so proud of her!

Laura's parents, Bill and Polly, and their Grandson Seeley in Roswell, NM.

Uncle Manlio and Aunt Alva in Calexico, CA.

John and Janel and their precious kiddos came and stayed for a weekend- we had such a great time together!

The kids and I went to Owasso for a day to spend the day swimming and hanging out with Rita and her little girl, Ziva. Three months later, Maggie still says "Thank you, God, for the day at the swimming pool with Ziva" just about every time she prays.

Our fun and wonderful friends Gene and Mollie from Idaho brought their two sweet girls to visit for a day as they were in the area visiting Gene's family. Max was so thrilled to have his best little friend from Idaho here for a day!

Lucas' Dad, Maria, and Maria's Mom Elisa in Temecula, CA.

I wish we had photos of everyone we got to visit with over the summer– we feel so blessed to have so many friends and family to love in our lives. Thanks for the awesome summer, everyone!

Farewell, Summer! See you next year!

Conversations with Max

2010-10-04T18:09:00.003-06:00

After church on Sunday, Max heard me talking to a friend who was being induced last night to give birth to her fourth child and first girl (Congrats, Stephanie!) As we walked to the car:

Max: She's having a baby tonight?

Me: Yes! And it's going to be a little girl!

Max: How do they know it's going to be a little girl?

Me: The doctors have a special camera that takes pictures of the baby while she's still inside the Mommy's womb. Isn't that neat?

Max: (thinking for a few seconds) But how do they know it's a girl? Do they look at the hair?

Conversations with Max

2010-09-16T16:44:00.002-06:00

Max: Mom, when I grow up I will clean my whole room all by myself without any help from my wife.

Me: (laughing) Well, I bet she will really like that.

Max: Yes, she will say, "I love you." Also, I when I'm grown up, I will help my kids clean up their rooms every time.

It's on the record, buddy. :-)

3-Year-Old Maggie Mae

2010-09-13T14:49:00.002-06:00

Catching up- Happy Birthday, Maggie Mae!

2010-09-13T13:36:00.005-06:00

Yes, yes, I'm way behind on blogging as usual! We've had a very big few weeks, including celebrating Maggie Mae's 3rd birthday. We had a great night celebrating with uncles, aunts, cousins and grandparents. We wish everyone could have been there!

It was clear that Maggie could get used to this "the whole world revolves around me" scenario. :-)

Gramma Cheryl and Pops sent Maggie these precious little animals, and Maggie LOVED them. She brought them to me one at a time and hugged it and asked me to take her picture with it.

We only had family at her party, but our sweet friends the Matchells came over for a play date a couple days before her birthday, and we threw her a little mini party. The kids (and the mommies!) had such a fun time together all day!

Conversations with Max and Maggie

2010-08-30T16:07:00.002-06:00

In the car today, listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's Beauty Will Rise
.

Maggie: What's this song about?

Me: It's about the day a little girl believes in Jesus.

Maggie: What'd she believe?

Me: Well... she believed that Jesus is who He said He is in the Bible. That He is God's son who came to earth; He was completely God and completely man, but He never, ever sinned, had a bad attitude, lied or made a wrong choice. And even though He never sinned, He loved us so much that He took the punishment for our sins by dying on the cross. And then three days later He did something that no other person has ever been able to do- He raised Himself from the dead, and now He's living in heaven and making a home where all of us who believe in Him will live with Him forever.

Max: I BELIEVE! I believe in Jesus!

Me: I know you do, Max. Nothing could make me happier.

Maggie: I don't. I don't believe.

Me: That's okay. It's okay if you don't believe in Jesus today. Someday you will.

Max: (panicked) But, Maggie, you have to believe in Jesus! If you don't believe in Jesus, you won't be able to go to heaven, and heaven is a great place!

Maggie: Can we hear the song about the little girl who believes again?

Conversations with Maximus

2010-08-24T17:43:00.002-06:00

Last night at bedtime prayers:

Me: Maximus, what would you like to pray about tonight?

Max: Well.... do we know anybody who's sick or anything? How is Grandmama feeling today?

Me: Grandmama is feeling a little bit sick today.

Max: (shaking his head slightly) Hmmm... I really only like to pray for people who are medium sick or more.

Back from the California breeze to the Arkansas Humidity

2010-08-06T09:47:00.003-06:00

After a week in Sunny yet cool Southern California, I'm back to the land I love: Arkansas. :-) When I left the house we were staying in Camarillo on Tuesday morning at 9 a.m., it was 57 degrees. Back home in Arkansas, it was 103 on Tuesday. Quite a difference!

I had a great week with my Dad, Mom, Mitch and Russ in California. We missed having Tyler there- it was almost like old times. In some ways it's hard to believe that it used to be just the six of us all the time. I love how families have a way of multiplying and expanding!

The two highlights of the trip for me were definitely hearing my mom speak two times (the purpose of the trip) and visiting with Lucas' parents in Fallbrook.

It was my first time to visit Chaney and Maria's home without Lucas or the kids, and it reminded me how blessed I am to have so many people in my husband's family, on both his mom's side and his dad's side, who have embraced me as one of their own. It's a little hard to articulate, but I had a true sense of going home when we pulled up to their house. That's an intangible treasure to have with one's in-laws, I think– not something that you can force to happen or always even work to create. It's something I always wanted and prayed I would have with my husband's family, and God gave it to me.

The week was definitely a special one, and I was so grateful to be able to go. I have to give a MAJOR shout-out to my sisters-in-laws and friends who helped so much with the kids while Lucas was at work so that it was possible for me to go. And of course to Lucas who worked so hard while I was gone to give me this gift. Thanks, everyone!

Here are just a few snapshots from the week:

Happy Birthday, Grandpa Chaney!

2010-07-26T07:54:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was Grandpa Chaney's birthday!

One of THOSE days

2010-07-20T13:05:00.007-06:00

Most days, I simply don't get Maggie.

Oh, don't get me wrong: I absolutely love her and I am so enamored with her that I know I am sometimes one of those completely annoying moms who wants to talk way too much about every minute detail of my daughter's latest developmental marvel.

But when it comes to her motivations and actions, I am completely dumbfounded. Coming from this people-pleasing, can't-we-all-just-get-along, life-is-just-so-much-nicer-when-we-all-follow-the-rules-and-don't-rock-the-boat type of person, Maggie is a total mystery to me. Fortunately, this means that she won't have to deal with all the sin and vices that come along with being a people-pleaser.

Unfortunately, it means she can be really, really difficult to parent.

Yesterday was a doozy of a day. It started out with my discovery that, sometime during the night, she had procured a pair of scissors and chopped up a down blanket, leaving a total disaster zone of feathers in her wake. She had also done a significant amount of slicing to her new curtains as well.

In addition to the normal strong-willed-child discipline issues we're dealing with every day, yesterday had several other pieces of straw that just about broke this camel's back. When Lucas got home and saw what a hard day it had been, he asked what he could do to make it better (he's so great, huh?). I said I think the only good option was to ask my daughter for forgiveness for all the anger and impatience, and then go to sleep and start again tomorrow.

And you know what? Today has been better. While I was spray painting a bookshelf in the back yard, Maggie slid open the door and stuck her head out, along with a bottle of glue:

"Hey, Mom- I'm going to glue my pony to my wall. Is that a good idea?"

At least she's learning to identify when it might just be a good idea to ask first. This could be a breakthrough, folks.

Stay tuned for great things from this little Maggie Mae. I know God has something important in store for all that passion and spunk. Can't wait to see what it is!

Conversations with Maximus

2010-07-16T09:38:00.004-06:00

While looking at pictures of our friends Jonathan and Grace on their blog:

Maximus: Why do they like each other?

Me: Because they are brother and sister, just like you and Maggie. Do you and Maggie like each other?

Maximus: (hesitating) Well..... sometimes she smells kinda bad.

Perhaps he was searching for an excuse. At any rate, we had a good but brief conversation about how we need to love people even if they smell funny. :-)

We've come a long way, Baby

2010-07-14T09:53:00.003-06:00

I'm thankful for days like this, when God gives me a glimpse of progress in my children:

For whatever reason, haircuts used to be a MAJOR ordeal with Maximus. He would go into a total panic every time. He would start yelling and thrashing and then would get himself so worked up that he would gag and throw up. We went through about two years of this, and every time, I would walk away with my head hung, utterly embarrassed and frustrated.

Over the last year, he's done a little better each time. Then yesterday, it happened: an entire haircut without so much as a whimper. He told me in the car on the way to see Ariane: "Mom, I just realized that haircuts don't hurt. I still don't like them, but they don't hurt."

Once we were at the salon, he got up in the chair and looked straight into the mirror. He set his jaw and stared at the same spot on the mirror the whole time. He looked determined.

And maybe it's silly to be proud of him for overcoming something that never should have been an issue in the first place, but I am proud of him. And I'm thankful for a much-needed reminder that today's battle might just be tomorrow's non-issues. A message my soul really, really needed to hear.

Plague of Flies

2010-07-07T10:38:00.003-06:00

Okay, Siloam Springs friends. WHAT is up with the flies this summer? The fly situation is rapidly approaching plague status in our house. Anybody have good tips for dealing with flies?

I know exactly what you mean, Buddy

2010-07-05T10:32:00.001-06:00

Maximus: Mommy, why is it just so hard to always obey?

Keep Moving Forward

2010-07-02T18:01:00.002-06:00

Sorry for the absence, folks. We've been without internet service until this afternoon when my brilliant husband got us rolling again.

Here's what we've been up to in the last week:

•VBS. Max and Maggie had their first VBS experience last week. Maximus absolutely loved every minute. Makes me think that he's going to love school- there's just SO MUCH INFORMATION to take in in the world! On Friday night after VBS he said, "Next summer, when I'm five, I'll get to go back to Bible school. I wonder what we will learn about. I wonder what the snacks will be!!"

• 7th anniversary. Lucas and I celebrated seven years of marriage on Monday the 28th. My sweet husband planned a really fun date for us, including going back to Magnolia Gardens Inn where we met and got married. It was our first time back there since the wedding. That was pretty cool. Nice work, Sweetie. :-)

• 7th move. This week we made our 7th move since we've been married. We like to celebrate our anniversary every summer by moving to a new house. It's so fun. You really ought to try it. Okay, I'll drop the sarcasm. We are really, really ready to be finished moving. Forever. We are super thankful to have a great house to move into (pics to come when I get a chance) and we love the new place.

• Mom and chemo. My mom started chemo back this week and has been really sick. If you haven't been following along with her blog recently but want to get caught up, you can check it out here. I hate that I haven't been able to help her much this week while we've been moving, but I am really glad for the way that God provided a new home for us and a chance to move this week instead of in four more weeks like we thought was going to be the case. We're within a couple days of finishing up the whole moving process, so I'm glad I'll have it behind me and be able to focus more on helping my mom.

There's probably more to tell that I'm not thinking of, but that's all I've got right now. Happy Independence Day weekend, everyone!!

How Sweet

2010-06-22T20:41:00.003-06:00

Me: Max, I love you so much.

Max (looking intently into my eyes): Mommy, [dramatic pause] your eyes look just like the Death Star.

Conversations with Max and Maggie

2010-06-22T11:17:00.002-06:00

On the way home from VBS today:

Me: Maggie, who was your favorite friend to play with today?

Magggie: Um, Drew. She told me her mommy makes macaroni and cheese for her, too!

Me: That's fun. Did you play with Eli, too?

Maggie: No, he is Max's friend because he is a boy.

Max: Maggie, hear what it says in the Bible: If you are mean to someone who loves God, you should tell them you are sorry. Is that what it says, Mommy?

Me: Well, close. The Bible says that we should forgive everyone, not just people who love God.

Max: Maggie, you really can be friends with Eli. Let me tell you how you can be friends.

Maggie: How?

Max: You just walk up to someone, say "Hello!" and then shake their hand. That makes you friends.

The Sad vs. The Tragic

2010-06-17T13:54:00.007-06:00

The day before yesterday we received the hard news that my mom's cancer is growing and spreading at a rapid rate. Without miraculous intervention, she may not have many good days left. It's a reality that we have all been living with for the past two years, but each report brings even more clarity to the reality: My mother is dying.

It's sad. But not tragic.

The distinction between the sad and the tragic has been one of the most tangible and valuable gifts I brought home with me from India.

My sweet mother is 55 years old. She's been fighting terminal lung cancer for more than two years now, and the fight has not been easy. At various points on this journey she's been poked, prodded, drilled, radiated, poisoned, medicated, sleepless, exhausted, uncomfortable, in pain and SICK. And after all of this, aside from God's direct and supernatural intervention, she will still die of cancer. It is sad. It's not the way it's supposed to be.

But it's not tragic. Tragic is the 2-year-old child drugged and stuffed under a bed while his mother sells her body day after day. Tragic is the woman with acid burns scarring her arms, too terrified to flee an abuser worse than what most of us could imagine. Tragic is the shriveled, dying man, lying utterly alone in the dust and filth of a Kolkata street. Most tragically of all, these people and millions more are living in real despair, without the hope of Jesus Christ. This is true tragedy.

The life of Vicki Dees is not tragic. Her life is 55 years stuffed-to-the-brim full of hope, love, faith, joy, happiness, peace and trust. She has loved and been loved. Her life is also an eternity stretching out in front of her- an eternity that's far more amazing than anything our little human minds could conjure up.

I don't know what the weeks and months out in front of us will hold. God has done so many miraculous things with her life already that I don't really have any reason to believe that He won't continue to do so. But worthless speculation aside, I do know that the days ordained for the beautiful life of Vicki Dees were set long ago, and there's really no good to be found in trying to figure out how many days that's going to be. If she lives three more weeks or 30 more years, it's all pretty short in light of eternity.

I think it's okay to be sad about this process of saying "goodbye" or rather, "see you later!" I certainly hope it's okay, because I've had a lot of sad days in the last two years. But the amazing gift of perspective God gave me in India has really helped me to see my mom's life in a new light.

If our all-knowing, all-powerful, utterly good and wise God allows my mom to die of cancer sometime in the near future, it will be sad. It will be hard. But life will go on. Both for her and for me! For her, she's going to be checking into a new home in heaven that is overflowing with treasures she's been sending that way since long before I was born.

For me, there's life after cancer. There's a husband to love, children to nurture, a Church to serve and a world in need of the Gospel. And I'm forever thankful that I've had such a beautiful example of just how to go about doing all of those things and more by faith.

Conversations with Maggie

2010-06-17T08:17:00.002-06:00

Uncle Erick: Maggie, where does your Daddy work?

Maggie: JBU!

Uncle Erick: Where does Uncle Jake work?

Maggie: JBU.

Uncle Erick: Where do I work?

Maggie: JBU.

Uncle Erick: Where does your Mommy work?

Maggie: The KITCHEN!

Quotes by Maximus

2010-06-15T16:23:00.003-06:00

Maximus: "I've been thinking: After Uncle Jake gets back from California, I am going to ask him if he will make another movie once Aunt Laura gets here. It will be called 'Security Bots.'"

Max's Art

2010-06-12T07:32:00.003-06:00

Max's paintings with his descriptions:

"In the jungle at night time with stars shining.

I am walking through the trees with a flashlight."

"Trees in the jungle with roots"

"A cave in the jungle with a giant spider."

Day 8: The Magic of the Mouse

2010-06-10T06:10:00.001-06:00

Day 8: Anaheim, California/ Disneyland

After we returned to Fallbrook from San Diego, we reunited with the kids by spending the next day at Disneyland together!

Disney does it right. The whole day was truly magical for Maximus and Maggie!

Maggie plays along with a little bluegrass band. She loved it!

Meeting Cinderella:

We just happened to be in the right place at the right time for Maggie to have a completely magical moment meeting Cinderella. Several parents had warned us not to promise Maggie that she would get to meet the princesses because you often have to wait more than an hour in line to meet them and sometimes it's not worth it to spend that much of your day waiting. BUT... Cinderella just happened to show up just as we were leaving the Turtle Talk with Crush attraction. Maggie RAN up to her and hugged her long and hard. My little girl was totally star-struck.

After she said goodbye to Cinderella and came back over to me, I asked her if Cinderella had said anything to her. Maggie said in a hushed whisper of reverence (which many of you know is NOT normal for Maggie!): "No, she touched my face and kissed me." What a sweet moment for my little one!

After several hours at the park, we took a break and met up with Lucas' brother Joe and his wife Tammy, Lucas' Grandma Norris and Aunt Debbie, and our friend Jim for dinner at Downtown Disney. We loved getting to see all of them!

Jim is our Disney hero. We've become friends with him over the past few

years via Jake and Laura, and he is such an awesome guy. Even if he didn't use his

Disney management position to get us free tickets to the Mouse House. :-) Thanks, Jim!

After dinner, we actually took the kids back into the park to squeeze a bit more fun out of the day. We were there on Jacob and Laura's 10th anniversary, so we finished our magical day on the Jungle Cruise in honor of them. This is where Jacob proposed to Laura (with quite a bit of elaborate scheming and planning!) over ten years ago. Of course, they were in beautiful Hawaii celebrating on their own, but we got our little bit of celebrating in ourselves in honor of their big marriage milestone. We left a little song on Laura's voicemail while in line for the cruise:

Happy Anniversary to you,

In honor of your big day,

We're on the Jungle Cruise!

or something like that. :-)

All in all, a VERY magical day. Like I said, Disney knows how to do it right. We were so thankful for these awesome memories with our kids!

Conversations with Max and Maggie

2010-06-09T21:17:00.004-06:00

Our lease is up on our current home in July, and we are trying to decide whether we can buy now or whether we should rent for another year first. We've been looking at some different properties, so of course the kids have been coming along, too. Today they saw one they really loved. Here's our conversation in the car on the way home:

Max: I really, really want to get this one! It has two fireplaces and one chimney!

Me: Buying a house is a big decision. I'm not sure if we will be able to get this one.

Max: Why not?

Me: Well, first of all, we have to see how much it will cost and see if we have enough money.

Max: Awwww. I really want it.

Me: Well, you can ask God about it. If you ask Him for it and it is good for us to have it, then He will give it to you. He loves to give you good things.

Maggie: (Before Max could respond) Dear God, please yet me buy dis house. Thanks.

Lucas: Maggie, you could say 'amen' at the end.

Maggie: (Loudly) I not talkin' to you! I talkin' to Jesus!

California Days 5-7: Romantic Getaway to San Diego/ Kids hang with Grandparents!

2010-06-09T13:59:00.004-06:00

Lucas and I had the immense treat of enjoying 3 days/ 2 nights on a little getaway to downtown San Diego with just the two of us while Max and Maggie stayed with Grandpa and Abuelita. We had such a good time.

We got a great price on a swanky hotel in the Gaslamp district of San Diego, and when the hotel's host heard we were having an early anniversary celebration, she had champaign and chocolate-covered strawberries sent to our room. How great!

While in the city, we walked along the marina, went to see a movie, did some shopping, visited the U.S.S. Midway aircraft carrier, and enjoyed a fancy dinner out at The Melting Pot.

After 7 years of marriage, it's nice to still enjoy the person you married. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Even in the midst of the ups and downs of life, Lucas and I still like each other. Most of the time. :-) That's really nice, and I'm thankful.

While we were away partying, the kids were having a blast, too. Grandpa and Abuelita took them to LEGOland! We don't have any pictures yet because they are on the grandparents' camera... but the kids were sure fired up about the special time they had while we were gone!

Quotes by Maximus

2010-06-08T12:14:00.001-06:00

Maximus: "Some days, I love LEGOs so much that I just can't even stop thinking about them. There are just so many of them."

Day 4: A Day at the Beach

2010-06-05T21:49:00.004-06:00

Day 4: Oceanside Beach

On our first full day staying in Fallbrook with Chaney and Mary, we spent a glorious day at Oceanside beach. It was Maximus and Maggie's first time to visit the sea.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, here's one that sums up how we all felt about the beach:

Sheer Delight.

Lucas and I arrived at the beach about an hour before Chaney and Mary and Elisa (Mary's mom), who were coming in another vehicle. While Lucas was gone to meet up with them and bring them to where we were, I was sitting on the beach alone, watching the kids play in the sand. This is what I saw:

I'm not quite sure what it was– It might have been the look of pure happiness on their faces, combined with that fresh salty breeze and the sound of the tide rolling in and out. Perhaps it was the cute way that Max poked a tiny pinky-sized hole in every sand castle to make a door and then examined it closely to answer some unspoken curiosity in his mind. Or maybe it was just the simple beauty of a moment with my children that will always be locked away in my heart. Whatever it was, the tears just started rolling down my cheeks.

It felt right– like salty tears of happiness were at home by the sea. I'll never forget it.

Days 1-3: On the Road

2010-06-05T14:29:00.005-06:00

Day 1: Roswell, New Mexico.

First stop on Roebuck Road Mania 2010: Roswell, New Mexico. We left Siloam Springs at about 11 p.m. on a Tuesday night and drove 10 hours through the night to the home of Bill and Polly, Laura's parents. They are the king and queen of hospitality. We enjoyed a lovely day and evening with them– the kids loved running and playing in their yard, and it worked out well that they didn't have to sit in the car for 10+ hours straight two days in a row.

Laura's sister, Joy, and her husband, Brent came over for dinner and brought their oh-so-adorable little guy Sealy. (Hmmmm.... Hope I'm spelling that correctly...) He is PRECIOUS. Here's a picture of him with Bill and Polly. Anyway, it was just so great to be the beneficiaries of the legendary Hartman Hospitality.

We won't mention how Lucas was blowing chunks the whole time we were there. Poor guy. But we will mention how thankful we all were that whatever he had, the rest of us somehow avoided. [Insert huge sigh of relief].

Day 2: White Sands National Monument

Day 2 on the road was a LONG day in the car, about 15 hours. Thankfully, the kids were really fantastic travelers. We only had to reprimand Max about four times for whining, "WHY is it taking so long?" Overall, not bad for a 2-yr-old and 4-yr-old.

On the road from Roswell to Calexico, California, we stopped at White Sands National Monument. It was the brightest place I have ever been. Like somebody-get-me-some-heavy-duty-sunglasses-or-I'm-going-to-be-forced-to-scrape-my-eyes-out bright.

I didn't have any sunglasses. But I decided against the scraping my eyes out thing, after considering both the pain and the inconvenience of that particular option.

Other than the extreme brightness, the sky was bluer and the sand whiter than anything I've ever seen either. The sand was so white, and there was so much of it, that this is what Maggie did as soon as she was out of her car seat:

Sand Angels. Interesting.

This little maneuver brought quite a bit of sand back into the car with us upon our departure. Oh, well.

Found a shady spot with my favorite little buddy.

We may or may not have given them something sweet

in order to produce this show of sibling affection.

Day 3: Calexico, California

Late, late, late at the end of Day 2's long drive we arrived in Calexico, California, the border town between Mexico and California. The town on the Mexico side of the border is Mexicali. I know, so creative, right?

We would have arrived a decent hour in Calexico if not for the fact that we got stopped on the freeway while the military was doing some missile testing in the Middle Of Nowhere, New Mexico. Some guys in orange vests slowed us all down, and then proceeded to park us all on the highway like a parking lot.

Then we sat there for about an hour, parked on the highway, and watched some explosions in the distance. Then they dismissed us from our parking places. Only we still couldn't move our car because the guy parked in front of us was sound asleep. I found the whole thing really hilarious.

So.... late, late, late that night we arrived at the home of Tio Manlio and Tia Alva, Lucas' Dad's brother and his wife. Lucas' Dad and Maria met us there and we enjoyed a day with Manlio and Alva.

Alva has some sweet little granddaughters a little younger than Maggie, and she was kind enough to share her girls' princess booty with Maggie. Maggie thought perhaps we had already arrived at Disneyland. She pranced around the house all day just as happy as she could be!

Manlio owns a large tree nursery in Calexico. The kids loved checking out the nursery and learning about plants that grow in the desert and looking at all the palm trees:

Lucas with his Uncle Manlio and Aunt Alva

After we left Manlio and Alva's, we header further west still toward Fallbrook in North San Diego county, where Lucas' Dad and Maria live. On the way, we stopped at this cool stone monument house on top of a mountain:

Coming soon to a blog near you: Maximus and Maggie's first day at the beach!

C-A-L-I-F-O-R-N-I-A

2010-06-05T14:22:00.002-06:00

Let the Roebuck Road Mania 2010 posting begin! Coming up: more than you ever wanted to know about our 18-day adventure to:

And back! Enjoy the journey with us!

Conversations with Maggie

2010-06-03T11:46:00.002-06:00

Maggie: Where is my dad?

Me: At work.

Maggie: Well, where is my Uncle Jake?

Me: He's at work, too.

Maggie: Oh, Man! My two dads are both at work!

I thought this was hilarious! For those of you who haven't heard, Lucas' twin brother Jacob accepted a one-year job at JBU and just moved to Siloam Springs! (Laura is making the transition in California with her job and will be here in a few weeks!!) The kids love, love, LOVE having their Uncle Jake around every day.

Mini Reunion with College Buddies

2010-05-31T11:45:00.008-06:00

Before I jump into posts and pictures about Roebuck Road Mania 2010, I had to post a few pics of a special visit we had the day before we left on our trip!

Several of my dear friends from JBU days happened to be coming through Siloam Springs all at the same time as they were visiting their families in the area, so we worked out a few hours of fun together. Paul, Kris, Jenna-Clare, Jeremy, Rheagan (her husband Steve wasn't able to make it this time- we missed seeing him), Lucas and me plus all the kids had a great visit!

We enjoyed a crazy and wonderful few hours with pizza at Fratelli's, hanging out in the afternoon with about a million beautiful kids and babies, and then a fantastic dinner hosted by Jeremy's parents at their lake house in Rogers. I so enjoyed getting to reconnect with these special friends! A real highlight was getting to meet Paul and Kris's adorable newborn son, John David.

Here are just a few snaps.

Jenna-Clare, John David, Kristine, Maggie, Me and Rheagan.

The oh-so-charming William (belongs to Jeremy and J-C). If any of you have met Jenna-Clare's brother Colin, don't you think he's the spitting image? Adorable!

Paul and Kris are multi-taskers: Keeping Maximus intellectually engaged and snuggling newborn John David. That's talent, folks.

It was basically a crazy madhouse with six kids under the age of 4.

Jenna-Clare shares her mad maraca skills with Maggie.

We had the extra-special treat of having Rheagan and her two little adorables stay with us for a couple days.

Thanks for the great visit, everyone!

Home Again, Home Again...

2010-05-29T11:34:00.002-06:00

18 Days
4,500 miles
68 hours in the car
7 games of "I Spy"
38 Capri Sun juice pouches
2 amusement parks
1 car floorboard covered with beach sand.
9 places to rest our heads
2 IKEA cinnamon rolls
1 Grand Canyon
2 In-n-Out Burgers
And MANY hugs and smiles from people we love!

Roebuck Road Mania 2010 has now drawn to a close– We are back home safe and sound after a crazy 2.5-week trek to California and back. We had a great time, the kids traveled well, and we have LOTS of pictures and stories to share! Give me a couple days to crawl out from the mound of laundry and the pile of stuff we pulled out of our car, and I'll be back with more. Ahhhh, Home Sweet Home!

Monologues By Maggie

2010-05-26T14:27:00.002-06:00

Maggie:

Hey guys, I know: Let's have some ice cream now, and then we can have some lunch later! Okay? Okay. That's the end of the story. Yes."

Busy, Busy, Busy

2010-05-11T10:02:00.005-06:00

Whew! These past few weeks have been a real whirlwind for our little Roebuck crew. All fun stuff, but just LOTS of stuff!

Saturday night we had a fun night of celebrating the retirement of Professor Gary Warner. Some of you may not know that Lucas and I were both journalism majors at JBU, although not at the same time (He graduated 5 years ahead of me). So even though we weren't at school at the same time, we had the shared experience of learning to write from Gary Warner. And let me assure you, that is an experience! Those of you who have taken News Writing I from Gary Warner know of what I speak. :-)

Anyway... Saturday night we attended a surprise retirement celebration for Gary Warner at Emelia's in downtown Siloam Springs. It was a fun night to reconnect with journalism alumni who had flown in from all over the country and honor our former professor. And the food was DELICIOUS. Lucas had a lot of the responsibility for planning the evening, and the program and the whole night really could not have gone any better. He did such a fantastic job!

Here are a few pics of our fun evening:

Gary Warner and colleague Arnie Mayer.

Lucas was the emcee for the event.

Professor Warner has been heading up the journalism program at JBU for 17 years. That means that there have been about 17 student editors of the JBU paper. 12 of those former editors were in attendance Saturday night- they flew/drove in from all over the country!

All the journalism/PR alumni who celebrated with Professor Warner.

Little Boy Bliss

2010-05-03T13:32:00.006-06:00

Last week we had a wonderful visit with my Grandma and Grandpa. It was so special for me to see Max and Maggie spending some quality time with their great grandparents. Both the kids completely loved our little retreat to see The Great Mama and the Great Papa (as they call them), but Max was especially on cloud nine. I'm afraid I just can't seem to keep his little scientific mind quite stimulated enough during our normal day-to-day life around here! But at the Great Papa's house– that's another story. As I heard my grandpa explain to Max about flotation and simple machines and all kinds of other things that are interesting to little boys, I couldn't help but smile as I remembered Grandpa teaching me about electric currents and various other science lessons when I was a child. Max was drinking up every bit of information and having a blast the whole time.

Well.... TODAY the kids got a great surprise when a package arrived. It was addressed to them and was from Great Papa and Great Mama. They were pretty excited to open it up:

And what they found inside was pure bliss for a little boy! The box was stuffed full with string and wooden rods and rubber bands and wires and hot glue and rubber connectors and sheets of plastics and all kinds of other building materials. Max tore into it like it was the most expensive toy money could buy at Toys R Us! His mind was spinning with ideas from minute one.

First he pulled out a sheet of plastic and ran to the drawer to get some scissors. He had to make a map "to show the divers how to find the lost city of Atlantis." Maggie made a map, too.

After maps, we had to break for lunch. But the whole time we were eating, Max was planning what he was going to build. He decided on a submarine.

Here is his first creation! I helped some, but many of the design ideas were his. He has been playing with it all afternoon.

Thanks, Great Mama and Great Papa, for such a fun and creative package!

Conversations Between Max and Maggie

2010-05-03T08:11:00.006-06:00

Overheard this morning between Max and Maggie as they were looking at Carl and Ellie from Pixar's UP:

Maggie: Look at them!

Max: They are married.

Maggie: No, they are not married.

Max: Yes, they ARE married. Remember we saw them in the church? That means they are married.

Maggie: What's 'married'?

Max: You know, when you always stay together, and you live together in the same house and you are not friends.

Maybe I should insert here: I think Max was saying that when you are married you are more than "just friends," but I thought it was hilarious that he actually just said "you are not friends." Perhaps I'll have to make sure that he does indeed know that Lucas and I are both married and friends. :-)

One Tough Cookie

2010-04-21T14:20:00.005-06:00

Maggie has a little buddy at church who is her exact same age, same height, same build, and same hair color and length. Even my friend Julie (this little buddy's mom) and I have occasionally had to look twice when we see them from the back to see which one is ours!

Anyway, this morning Julie and I were talking about our precious little strong-spirited ones and marveling at how similar they are, both in appearance and personalities. We discovered that they are both super tough– they can get hurt pretty badly and not even let out so much as a whimper. I told Julie that sometimes I'm concerned that Maggie is going to get significantly hurt, like break a bone or something, and I might not even know.

Well, fast forward three hours from that conversation with Julie. Maggie started looking a little sick and droopy in her eyes, and she had mentioned to me once or twice somewhat nonchalantly in the past couple days that her ear was hurting. After my conversation with Julie this morning, I got to thinking that her ears might be worse than she was letting on, and maybe I should go ahead and get her into the pediatrician.

The doctor looked at her first ear and said, "Wow- this one is really infected. Is this the ear she was complaining about?" I told her no– it was the other one. She looked at the second ear, and it was even worse. The doctor said that on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the most infected an ear could be, Maggie's was an 8.5. Woh– she wasn't running a fever or even acting sick at all until late morning today. But she's got a severe double ear infection.

This sweet little Maggie is one tough cookie. I really am going to have to watch her closely since she has a pain tolerance that she CLEARLY did not inherit from her mother!

More Conversations with Maximus

2010-04-13T07:54:00.002-06:00

Max: How do birds die?

Me: Well, lots of different ways. Some just get old and die. Some might get hit by a car.

Max: Remember at the park we went to with Addison and Preston and we saw that dead bird? Why do you think that bird died?

Me: I'm not sure. Maybe he was just an old bird and it was his time to die. It's a little like G.G. Huckaby. Remember? She had lived a long time and her body just stopped working right.

Max: But Grandmama's not going to die.

Me: What are you thinking about?

Max: Grandmama Vicki. She's not going to die because she's not old yet.

Me: You know, Max. Sometimes when grown-ups have cancer, the tiny parts of their body called cells don't work right. If the cancer is serious enough, even grown-ups who are not old can die. The kind of cancer that Grandmama has is the very serious kind. The good news is that God has the power to heal her body if He wants to. But He might also decide that it's almost time for her to go to Heaven with him. And that's okay, too, because she loves Jesus so much.

Max: (silent and thinking)

Me: You don't have to worry about it today, though, Max. Today Grandmama is feeling good and we can go spend some time with her.

Max: She is feeling all the way good? She's not sick anymore?

Me: No, her cells are still sick. But she feels good today. And we can enjoy every good day with Grandmama.

Max: When we were in Idaho, I was sick three times. But Daddy gave me Gatorade and it made me all better. And then when I was at the park with Anna and Jakin, I threw up.

Me: Everybody gets sick sometimes. But you don't have to worry about getting sick like Grandmama. All of your cells are working just right.

Max: Yes!

Conversations with Maximus

2010-04-05T13:03:00.003-06:00

As I'm hugging Max, just after spanking him for throwing a fit:

Me: Maximus, I do not like spanking you. It makes me so sad when you make choices that mean you have to get a spanking. I always hope that you can make good choices so that I won't have to spank you.

Max: (tears streaming down his face) But.. Mommy... It's really hard to go the whole day without making bad choices!

Me: I know, buddy. None of us can go a single day without making bad choices.

Max: Why?

Me: Because we are all sinners. That's why we need Jesus so much.

Max: But why did Jesus die for us while we were his enemies?

Me: Because He loved us so much that He wanted to make a way to forgive us of our sins so that we could be in His family.

Max: But Mommy, your only bad choices are arguing with Daddy.

Me: Oh, I have a lot more sins than that. Like when I'm lazy and don't do the work I should do. Or when I don't treat others with real kindness.

Max: Woh. That IS a bad choice.

Me: I know. Big time.

And then he smiles at me and scampers away to play, eyes red and swollen, but hopefully with the seeds of the Gospel planted in his tender heart.

Easter Photos

2010-04-04T13:45:00.006-06:00

I Packed My Black Dress

2010-04-01T08:09:00.005-06:00

Some dates are easy to remember. A potent occurrence or event or emotion has seared the date into your memory. April 1st is one of those dates for me.

One year ago today, Lucas and I had just returned home from a long road trip from Idaho to California. We had spent a glorious week with both Lucas' California family and my family (minus Tyler and Meagan), fulfilling one of my mom's dreams to take her grandkids to Disneyland. As Lucas and the kids and I drove back to Idaho, my mom's health took a serious decline. She was in horrific pain as my dad worked hard to get her through the flights and car rides back to Arkansas to her oncologist. When they finally got to the hospital, the news was not good. Mom's cancer was rapidly progressing, and the doctors predicted that she might have as little as 2 weeks to live.

Lucas and I scrambled to find a plane ticket so I could get back to my mom. The best one we could find was the next morning, April 2nd, flying out of Portland. We left before dawn to drive 7 hours in the wrong direction so Maggie and I could catch a plane to Arkansas. Max and Lucas would fly in to join us the following weekend for Easter.

I remember standing in my closet in Idaho, unpacking my bag from California just to repack it for this heart-wrenching flight to Arkansas. I stared at my hanging clothes, numb and trying to decided what and how much to pack. I pulled a black dress off the hanger and let the material slink through my hands. Based on everything I had heard from the doctors that day, I was going to need that dress. It made me angry, and so very sad.

I know my loving and gracious and eternal Daddy was holding me in His strong arms that day. I wonder if, in the midst of His compassion, He still smiled a bit, knowing the best was yet to come. He knew He had a gift for me that I couldn't fathom in that moment: another beautiful year with my mom. A new job for Lucas and a move to a home 1.7 miles from my parents' front door. Grandmama's tea parties for Maggie. The forever gift of learning to read from Grandmama to Max. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Two Easters.

One year later, this week has been hard on me. I returned home from India to face the reality that Mom's health is again in a precarious position (at least from a human standpoint). She's in the hospital getting blood transfusions. She's not able to tolerate a full dose of chemo that, even at its best, only offers a few months of life to the 5-15% of patients with whom it is effective.

However, I know that the same loving, gracious and eternal Daddy is present with us today just as He was one year ago. He is no less powerful now than He was then. The ordained days for the beautiful life of Vicki Dees has not fluctuated. And I believe, in the mind's eye of my limited human thinking, He is still smiling just a bit, knowing that the best is yet to come.

It Lets You Hope

2010-03-30T12:19:00.002-06:00

Also posted on the IPP Blog.

Sitting in the lobby of our Mumbai hotel last week, I picked up a magazine to thumb through as we waited to depart for an afternoon of fabric shopping for upcoming lines of Punjammies.

The magazine fell open to a double page spread advertisement for Dove shampoo. The only text on the page was this phrase in bold white letters: “It Lets You Hope.”

As I stared at the phrase on the magazine page, I couldn’t help but wonder what it is about Indian culture that would make the promise of hope an appealing ad campaign. Even among the more affluent Indian women who are reading magazines and buying Dove shampoo, are the longings for hope so deep that even advertisers are trying to harness that power?

I do know that the need for lasting hope lies at the root of every human heart. Judging simply by the things I witnessed with my own eyes in India over the past two weeks, this is a country where millions of women are moving through life without a shred of that basic human need. And that knowledge alone gives me a renewed zeal to fight with any resource I have available to introduce real and lasting hope to women in India.

The good news: I saw that genuine hope reflected back to me from the eyes of the ladies working with International Princess Project and other similar organizations in India. There is real transformation happening. And that is a brand of hope all its own.

We interrupt India posts briefly...

2010-03-28T19:15:00.002-06:00

.... because this conversation in the car with Maximus tonight when we were listening to a CD reminded me about something I've been meaning to post on the blog:

Me: Max, when you asked your dad what the word 'creation' meant, was it because you heard this song playing on the CD? (The lyrics were, "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation...")

Max: Yes.

Me: So did you understand that when we believe in Jesus, God makes us into a new creation?

Max: But why does He make us a new creation?

Me: Well, before we believe in Jesus, everything about us is sinful. All of our thoughts and attitudes and actions are not pleasing to God. But when we believe in Jesus, He forgives our sins and we are a new creation. For the first time, we are able to be friends with God.

Max: But why did He die for us while we were His enemies?

Me: Because He loved us so much, that He wanted to make a way for us to be friends with God since we could never do it on our own. That's the Gospel.

Max: What's "The Gospel"?

Me: It's the good news about all that Jesus has done for us.

These are the types of conversations we have in our car virtually every day right now. Why? Seeds Family Worship. My friend Anna told me about these CDs, and they have been AWESOME for bringing God's word into every part of daily life for our little family. These CDs are well-produced, and all the songs are straight scripture set to music.

I can't tell you how many questions this music has prompted Max and Maggie to ask or how much scripture they have memorized in the few short weeks we've been listening to these CDs. Especially for Max, it's been really incredible to see him stitching together spiritual principles from different verses and songs. The kids love the music and sing right along word-for-word from their car seats. We've loved it so much, I thought I'd pass the tip along to all of you- I'm so glad Anna told us about it!

Home Sweet Home

2010-03-27T17:28:00.003-06:00

After 36 hours of travel, I arrived at our sleepy little Northwest Arkansas airport. I have never been so happy to see my sweet husband. And the reunion with my two little ones was like water to my soul.

Back at home, my bed is softer, the shower hotter, the food yummier and the streets cleaner than I remembered. All these comforts and a thousand more welcomed me back home. And even though I am enjoying and thankful for all of these pleasant things in my life, each one reminds me of the people I met in India who are still in the midst of hardship even as I am enjoying my comfortable life.

I crawl into my soft and waiting bed, and I see the small child curled up with his mother, sleeping on the street; the fabric of her sari pulled up over his head to shield his face from the noise and dust of the Kolkata night air.

I raise my fork to my mouth, and I remember the children begging from car window to car window as we wait for traffic to pass. I wonder if those children even get the money they are begging for, or if there is someone waiting for them at "home" with an open hand to confiscate all they have received.

I throw a load of laundry into my washing machine, and I picture the women in the river, slapping their clothes against rocks to get them clean.

I take a long, hot shower, and I remember the dozens of men, women and children I saw lathering up with soap in the street. And then I'm humbled when I think of the new friends in their Kolkata home, showering with a bucket and a faucet of cold water so that they can be present in a dark place to spread the love of Christ.

I'm seeing my life in America through a new set of lenses these days. I'm thankful for all I have received, and I know I haven't done anything to deserve the easy life I've been handed. Even though it is so nice to be home, I'm wrestling with reconciling all my eyes have seen in the past two weeks with my plush life in America.

Many more posts to come. I have pictures to show and stories to tell! But for tonight, I'm snuggling up with my little family, enjoying their company and trying to overcome jet lag.

Kolkata

2010-03-24T04:11:00.003-06:00

For the past three and a half days, we've been in Kolkata (Calcutta). It has by far been the most intense part of our trip. I'm going to have to wait until I get home to tell you about the things I have seen with my own eyes here in Kolkata. It's not pretty. But God is powerful and loving, and He who is in us is greater than he who is in this world.

In a couple of hours we will be heading to the airport to begin the lengthy trek home. I'm beyond excited to see my husband and children. I'm not quite sure how to process all I've seen and done here. I suspect it's going to take me quite a bit of time to grapple with it all.

Now that I've seen it, I am responsible for what I do with that. I will definitely be seeking the Lord to see what my part looks like.

Farewell until I see you back on the other side of Planet Earth!

Bless this Home

2010-03-22T23:11:00.001-06:00

On our second day in Andhra Pradesh, we also had the privilege of participated in the dedication of Suresh and Christina's new home on the Harvest India campus.

This was really emotionally moving to me. Suresh and Christina are currently living in a fairly large four-story home two miles from the Harvest India campus. This is the house where they also host lots of short-term mission teams, so it's set up for western hospitality. Even though they were comfortable in their home there, they really felt a burden to live closer to the orphan home so that they can have more day-to-day interaction with the the orphans who need a mommy and daddy close by. So they are moving into a humble two-room home just up the lane from the orphan home. It was an honor to pray a prayer of blessing over their new home– I know it is a place that will be filled with laughter and love.

This is their new kitchen.

Sitting in one of the two rooms with a bunch of children from the orphan home. These kids were trying to teach me how to speak a few phrases in their local language, telugu. They got a kick out of me butchering the language. :-)

Within just a few minutes of the home dedication, they built this open fire in their new living room to warm up lunch for about 50 people.

Ashraya Sewing Center

2010-03-22T09:32:00.005-06:00

On our second full day in Andhra Pradesh (the more rural area where we were visiting), we got to go for a short visit to the International Princess Project sewing center in the Ashraya house of the Harvest India campus. After hearing so much about IPP over the past two years, it was incredible to finally see it with my own eyes.

We got to witness Kelsea (the IPP sewing trainer and consultant) in her element as she evaluated the production system and quality checked the punjammies the women had made and trained them on some minor changes. It was really beautiful to witness the personal relationship that Kelsea has developed with the women and see how they loved her, trusted her and were working together as a team to accomplish this production goal. The personal dignity and confidence in these beautiful women

seemed to be growing before our very eyes. They are doing such magnificent work!

I'm going to post a lot of pictures of our first day at Ashraya! This is IPP in action:

The Roebuck Remote

Conversations with Max: My Little Theologian

2011: A Big Year in Review

Getting in the Holiday Spirit!

A glimpse of our Thanksgiving

Three Months Old

Best Birthday Present Ever

Quote of the Day

I'm Shocked; Shocked, I Say!

The Respect Award

What We've Been up to: Alexander

What We've Been Up To: Maggie

What We've Been Up To: Max

Conversations with Max and Maggie

Life with Alexander

First Day of School

Alexander's Birth

Welcome, Alexander!

On Receiving Help

Happy Birthday, Grandpa Chaney!

School Supplies!

Remembering

"But Mom, My Animals *Really* Needed a Bath"

Bitter–Sweet

What Maggie Thinks About A Lot These Days

Great Deal on Groupon today

I thought this was hilarious and so true!

Conversations with Max and Maggie

Conversations with Maximus

Her Grandmama's Girl

Conversations with Maximus

After a Week with Paul T. Semones

Getaway ideas

Jenna-Clare is publishing her first novel!

A Royal at Heart

He is Risen Indeed

A Blink

Entrepreneur

Lucas Roebuck's Son

Conversations with Max and Maggie

Conversations with Max and Maggie

Conversations with Maggie

Not The Way It's Supposed To Be

The Sad Things

The Happy Things

Conversations with Maggie

Just Because They're Cute and I Love Them

Conversations with Maggie

Announcing... A New Roebuck Baby BOY!

Places I spent the night in 2010

Conversations with Maggie: Christmas Edition

COYOTE COUNTY LOSER now on DVD and Blu-Ray!

The Inverse Power of Praise

The Sweetest Words

You should join us!

Summer Visits

Conversations with Max

Conversations with Max

3-Year-Old Maggie Mae

Catching up- Happy Birthday, Maggie Mae!

Conversations with Max and Maggie

Conversations with Maximus

Back from the California breeze to the Arkansas Humidity

Happy Birthday, Grandpa Chaney!

One of THOSE days

Conversations with Maximus

We've come a long way, Baby

Plague of Flies

I know exactly what you mean, Buddy

Keep Moving Forward

How Sweet

Conversations with Max and Maggie

The Sad vs. The Tragic

Conversations with Maggie

Quotes by Maximus

Max's Art

Day 8: The Magic of the Mouse

Conversations with Max and Maggie

California Days 5-7: Romantic Getaway to San Diego/ Kids hang with Grandparents!

Quotes by Maximus

"But Mom, My Animals Really Needed a Bath"